So I got this new job. I’m tech writing for Another Very Hip Software Company. My editor there is awesome—today was my first day, and she already taught this noob some good stuff.
While conversing, Madam Editor used a word with which I am familiar, but not fluent. In fact, I have never uttered said word … until today.
Because the back-and-forth flow of our conversation depended on my use of this word (to describe a particular regional phenomenon), I uttered it.
Up my throat, through my teeth, out my lips … I said:
Buuuy-yoo.
No not, buuuy-yoo like, “You better buuuy-yoo some fake nails to go with that horse-hair weeve.”
I’m talking buuuy-yoo like the boggy marsh junx where alligators like to hang out.
Or buuuy-yoo like the “Born On The Bayou” song.
Or even buuuy-yoo like there’s a shitload of buuuy-yoo all over Houston, so when it rains real hard—on days like today for instance—that swamp crap backs up and the streets fill with water, making trips home from First Day of Work entirely way too long at 2.5 hours for 30 miles (plus three turnarounds, because getting lost is a real bitch), thus confirming your suspicions that given the choice between an herbal enema and spending 2.5 hours on a Houston highway, you’d take the ass bag any day.
Buuuy-yoo.
That shit is bananas.
—–
BTW I’m back in Houston.
2 1/2 hrs for 30 miles, that sounds like my commute. you sure you’re not in toronto?
Glad you’re back from the 49th state. Just sorry it’s Houston you’re back to.
I can hear the banjo chords of “Deliverance” playing while you’re writing about the Bayou.
Sounds like you better buuuy-yuuu some rainboots and a poncho. Welcome home.
I’ve got one of them there booyoos only a few blocks from my house. The Army Corps of Engineers says I’m not in a flood zone, but when it has rained very hard and I drive by that booyoo and it is filled to the brim, I tend to get very nervous.
That shit is bananas, miss stefani! How have you been?
Yay Hanni got a job! Boo you’re not on my IM anymore. Bayoooo I mean.
Yeah, when it rains in Houston, it seriously rains, and floods, and PEOPLE DIE! Hang in there. Congrats on the new gig!
Only evil lurks in Bush states. You went from one to the other. In a state where the average mass of a belt buckle outweighs the average mass of the brain of the person wearing it, you should have known you’d be in for trouble. Maybe your next move can be to Vermont or something. Maybe you can move to Obama’s state!
Stay dry! Soft and Dri. =)
Holy buuuy-yoo Batman! You are going to grow webbed feet.
You were in town and didn’t let me know? Booger!
WOOT!!! office slippers will be shipping out monday or tuesday.
Very cool on the new gig…sucks about the commute though.
Gah, commuting is such a drag. I had a two-hour (each way) commute this whole summer. Horrible. Good luck with yours.
So I tifauxed SNL and my husband had mentioned yesterday that he caught a bit of the musical act and thought it was another sketch it was that bad and i’m just now getting around to watching it and it’s My Chemical Romance and my husband was right about it seeming to be a sketch and the lead singer looked familiar and I thought, hey isn’t that the dude Hanni thinks is so hot?
jeebus.
Yeah, cute. But very strange.
…
Buy you…
yeah Hanni…
You’re just in for a lot of surprises in the upcoming years. Texas has a lot of interesting quirks.
oh btw. My friend Millicent may wind up moving back to Houston sooner than expected and she’s keen to meet up with you and show you around. She grew up in the area and feels like moving back. She’s quite the well traveled and interesting soul.
oh and she loves hitting concerts… I’ll miss that when she goes