Many of you have harassed e-mailed me to check-in, get the 4-1-1, the skinny, the scoop and the poop.

“It’s been quiet at the haus,” you wrote. “What’s new in FL/TX?”

Well first thing, I’m still in Florida. Maaa’s back home in Alaska. My current status is: knee-deep-in-packing-boxes.

This is only slightly preferable to being knee-deep-in-shit.

At least when you’re knee-deep-in-packing-boxes, the used cardboard—procured through Craig’s List because you’re too green to buy new boxes—only smell like rotten, festering produce and not poo.

Well, the boxes smell a little like poo…. But I’m not one to look a gift horse in the mouth.

I am, however, one to look a sandwich in the mouth. Especially when it’s filled with sprouts (yum!). Look at these cute sammy’s I saw at Universal Studio’s Boulangerie Café:

And look at Maaa at the Blues Brother’s street party—she’s freak dancing with strangers! (Now you know where I get it from.)

Me and Maaa ran into this green dude at Suess Landing. Judging from his lovely pallor, I’d imagine he’d just got off the Back to the Future ride. Can you say barfaronius?

Also in Suess Landing, we met this guy. He said he was a Sneech. I said, bless you.

At one point, someone told me and Maaa we should check out Bikini Bottom. Imagine my surprise when we got there and realized there were no bikinis or bottoms—just a guy in square pants.

And while we could not meet him in person, I just want to say a big thank you to Napoleon and his friend (e)claire. Your namesake offerings at Epcot’s French patisserie were so good it made us say, ooh la la!

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Because inquiring minds want to know, Angel and I are getting the eff out of dodge (or at least Florida) on September 26^th. Wish us luck as we head out west! Then, stop bothering me!

In a classic children’s story, Little Red Riding Hood notes what big ears the wolf has, what big eyes and what big teeth.

The wolf replies that these are all the better to hear miss Riding Hood with, see her with and eat her with.

If Little Red Riding Hood were to come visit me at three o’ clock in the afternoon she’d probably—after seeing me chained to the computer clad only in sports bra and booty shorts, a trashy gossip blog displayed in my browser— exclaim, “My how unemployed you still are!”

And I’d say, “All the better to entertain you with my dear.”

Because that’s what I’ve been doing these past few days.

Maaa’s in from Alaska and the two of us have been playing O-Town tourist. Today we head out to the theme parks for three exciting days—one at Epcot, two at Universal Studios.

Yes, dear hannihaus readers, me and Maaa are about to have more fun than you can shake a stick at.

… And that’s probably a lot.

I can’t be certain though, as I’m not exactly sure what constitutes “more fun than you can shake a stick at.”

You see, I’m no expert on the fun-stick threshold.

My experience with sticks involves burning them in campfires—oh and one time someone accused me of having one stuck up my butt.

But I digress …
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Monday Maaa and I went to a beautiful botanical garden. I found myself strangely fascinated by the grapefruit grove. I’d never seen anything like it. The low-hanging fleshy orbs were all very large—especially when compared to the fleshy orbs I’m used to seeing every day, re: the ones that don’t fill a b-cup.