Like tomorrow. At 5:30 am.
Part of the reason I’m road tripping tomorrow is I’m unemployed and have nothing better to do. But the main reason I’m traveling the 1,000 miles from O-Town to H-Town is, I need an apartment.
That’s right, an apartment in Texas.
Yes dear hannihaus readers, in lieu of certain career-changing events (mine sort [...]

Maaa always says you can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose.
Now the nose thing is total bullshit. If I’ve learned anything in life, it’s that friends (and gynecologists) can stick their fingers wherever the hell they want. Case in point: Smug Ellie, my college roommate, [...]

If someone asked me what I did today, I would say “nothing much … well, except I lost my job.”
Because I did.
But actually, I didn’t lose my job today. I was pinkslipped yesterday, around 2PM.
And then at 2:30PM I started drinking margaritas with the other kids who got cut.
And I didn’t stop drinking for quite [...]

I haven’t been writing much lately because there’s some stuff going on. And that stuff is kind of turning me all Sensitive Artist. And this blog is *not* about being a sensitive artist.
… But it is about being a sensitive smart ass.
And when it comes to being a smart ass, baby I’m the best.
But I [...]

CNN reports today that Britney Spears’ second child was not planned.
Of the pregnancy, Brit sez, “It just kinda happened.”
Now I’m no expert, but I don’t think pregnancy “just kinda happens.”
… Unless of course your name is Mary, Holy Mother of God and you are prone to such things as immaculate conception.
Now if you’re name is [...]

iRock. Will uRock too?
Today we interrupt our typical trash-talking, blither blathering, ice cream-mister whipple-wunky pickle-chicken nipple-type tomfoolery to bring you something *really* special.
No, I’m not talking about a super-secret duet between me and mr. hotpants. That shit’s strictly on the hush low, y’all.
What I’d like to talk about today, dear hannihaus readers, is my ass [...]

Today at the office we had career development day. As part of our workshop, we were required to make a list of professional goals.
Mine looked like this:
Hänni’s career development goals
* Start own company
* Freelance tech writing jobs
* Work in high technology
* Write a book
* Win an industry award—make name for self
* Become a rock star [...]

Before I start, did I just write the best post title ever? I think so…
Anyway, I usually don’t give two shits about shoes, but recently I’ve had a little crushy crush on some Crocs.
pink crocs: the new black?
Gardening shoes—that’s what my coworker called them.
If you’re unfamiliar, Crocs are only slightly sexier than your grandma’s galoshes. [...]

My darling sis sent me and Maaa a link via e-mail. The subject line? “Awww Cute.”
And it was.
It was so very cute, I almost soiled my britches.
It was so very cute, Maaa nearly had a heart attack.
Know what else was so very cute? How Sis was thoughtful enough to give Maaa a call, after sending [...]