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Bright Idea

June 30th, 2006

In an article entitled Operation Removes Lightbulb from Anus, doctors report a first-of-kind extraction took place in Pakistan this week.

bug.gifAnal extraction: bad news for bugs with lights on their butts

Pakistani prisoner, Fateh Mohammad said pain in his lower abdomen sent him to a hospital, where doctors found and removed a lightbulb lodged in his naughty place.

A relieved Mohammad thanked Allah for his speedy recovery, but says he doesn’t know how the bulb found its way into his barnhole in the first place.

Speculators have a few theories though. Most involve sex with an inmate named Bubba, a GE SoftWhite, and some KY.
…

In any event, the extraction means good things for patients requiring this type of surgery. The same technique used to remove the light from Mohammad’s ass can also be used to remove other things from other peoples asses—take for example, the burr from up Star Jones’s.

In related news, fireflies in the Middle East are in a panic.

On the streets of Islamabad, one firefly could be heard telling another firefly, “I don’t know what this lightbulb thing means for us, but if I were you man, I’d watch your ass—like literally.”

Posted in Mixed Bag

9 Haus Calls for “Bright Idea”

  1. Manuel Says:
    June 30th, 2006

    Does this mean that America is so fat that we are outsourcing our asses over there too?

    Apparently we’re already spreading our influences there: the poor guy was serving a four-year sentence for making liquor.

  2. JB Says:
    June 30th, 2006

    Hanni, that burr is called her husband. Please be more sensitive in future posts.

  3. Hänni Says:
    June 30th, 2006

    Manuel—Stupid Pakistanis. Don’t they know abolitionism went out with wooden dentures?

    JB—ROFL. And apparently he’s a gay burr at that. The Defamer is so snarky.

  4. Dima Says:
    July 2nd, 2006

    There are no fireflies in the middle east. I don’t recall ever seeing one. Although, I’m not sure about Pakistan. Who knows about those wacky Pakis!

  5. menoblog Says:
    July 2nd, 2006

    This is truly a great story. Thanks for enlightening us.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog too.

  6. Queen Bee Says:
    July 2nd, 2006

    uh… I fell on it?

    There’s a GREAT episode of Scrubs where Turk decides to give Carla (his girlfriend) a really nice pen that he found in the “lost and found” box. When he tells other hospital workers about finding this pen in the lost and found box, they all say, “We don’t have a Lost and Found Box. We have an Ass Box.”

    Followed by a montage of a lot of people saying, “I fell on it.” “I fell on it.” “I fell on it.” etc.

  7. mrtl Says:
    July 3rd, 2006

    First of its kind? Couldn’t be. See here: http://clobberblogger.blogspot.com/2005/02/how-to-remove-lightbulb-from-someones.html. I’m just saying.

  8. gary Says:
    July 3rd, 2006

    I heard he was using a flashlight trying to find his pet gerbel. :)

  9. Sarcomical Says:
    July 5th, 2006

    um, i think it’s more of a broomstick than a burr.

    ahem. ;)

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