So American Idol, Season 5. It came, it went, it gave us Taylor “my pubes look like a genius’s haircut” Hicks (god love him).
Here at the haus, Season 5 gave us something else: a reason to get retarded.
… And that’s exactly what we did.
In January I announced the Randy Jackson What’s Up Dawg Contest. The premise was simple: guess how many times the American Idol judge would say “dawg” throughout the season and win a prize.
I had no idea what I was getting into. I mean, Randy said “dawg” *a lot*. In fact, he said it 74 freaking times! And every time he did, I had to run to my computer and add another little tick mark to the Randy Jackson Register.
And that was a real pain in the ass.
But I’m happy now, because I get to tell you about our weiner.
Cze-Johnson Carrie, when you picked “72” I was kind of concerned. I thought your guess was not right for this competition…
But you know what, baby girl? You–worked–it–out.
And because of that, I have to say congratulations Cze-Johnson Carrie, you’re going to Hollywood, baby! Yeah!
… Or at least you’re going to receive a crappy $10 paperback autographed by Hänni pretending to be Randy Jackson! … Win.
For all those who played at home, but didn’t make that grade, I wanna say thank you. Limp Bizkit may have done it all for the nookie, but you, dear hannihaus readers, did it all for the book(ie). And for your nerdiness, I commend you.
You’re all winners in life…
*cze-johnson carrie—72 dawgs*
gary—30 dawgs
mrtl—71 dawgs
scottygee—234 dawgs
jane—30/episode
Erin—218 dawgs
Sassy887—1567 dawgs
Oregoncelticlady—79 dawgs
Divine Calm—187 dawgs
Amber—47 dawgs
Nhan Tran—54 dawgs
Bellyfur—168
*mrtl and oregoncelticlady look for your runner up boobie prizes in the mail.
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New contest involving inclement weather coming soon!
I can’t believe it. Everybody guessed more than I did. Oh well, I had fun trying. Nice contest.
gary–ok gary, for being such a good sport and getting the lowest vote and all, I think you deserve boobies too. For you.
We’re all winners now, Hänni. Thanks for the closure.
ahh… you may all be winners, but alas, there’s only room for one WEINER.
AND THAT”S ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YO YO YO!!!
ok. I’d like to thank everyone who played, and more so to Hännipie for hosting this fabulous contest. I have to say, I couldn’t have done it without the ‘one within’… and even though the little bugger prevented me from drinking along at the finale, he or she proved their worth by helping me win this contest.
I’m so excited that this will be the first book owned by the monster within. I’m TOTALLY gonna read it to him or her every night until they too, can understand all the wonder and glory that I have come to know as American Idol. or audition. OR have a sing-off with Hänni herself. either will do.
MUAH!!!!
Congrats! to all le weiners. Er, winners!
(And Cze-Johnson Carrie, sweet name dawg.)
Bring on le new con-tests, wee wee!
Dawg, I was totally Price-is-Righted here. Cze-Johnson Carrie — pshaw.
hee – Just saw the consolation prize note. I can’t be bitter.
I changed my vote after the intial super high guess and you said you’d change it , you lazy ho! I guessed 67, but you must have been too busy chewing on organic catnip to change my vote like you said you would! You owe me 8 months of back salary too, you wicked little Eskimo! I want my organic raisins right now! I slave all day as your P.A. and what do I get? Not even a lousy t-shirt!
=)
Was it me or did Taylor sing like he was trying to have a “movement”?
Yea well my vote still makes me laugh, because I counted like dawg years, every 1 time I heard it it felt like 7!!!
Nice pair of boobies. Thanks.