Billions of people today will celebrate Cinco De Mayo.

Here at the haus, however, I will be celebrating Cinco De Salsa.

Why?

Because salsa is a much *cooler* condiment. Case in point: when buying fresh, salsa comes refrigerated. You can’t say the same for mayonnaise.

Plus, salsa has better hair. Look:

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Have you picked your fav. today? AI Cocktail Countdown in the sidebar. Go vote!

I am an ASS. And I’m not even a garden-variety ass. No, dear hannihaus readers, I’m hardcore. The extent of my assiness is so HUGE, I’ve got to capitalize the damn word.

Indeed, I am all about the (capitalized) ASS.

And I hope you are too, because I want you to join me in my jackassery.

Today, dear hannihaus readers, it’s all about getting to know you. And I want all the lurkers—the shy little violets of the haus— to stand up and say “allo!”

Baby, I blove you
More than boys who wear makeup, Chipotle vegetarian burrito bols, and bulk bins of organic raisins, it’s you dear hannihaus readers that I adore. You keep me writing and that keeps me ridiculous.

And I want to know, what do you love? Let’s play a game.

Here’s how we do. I want *everyone* who reads this post to leave a comment. The comment you leave will be addressed to the visitor who comments before you. I want everyone to start their comment with:

“[visitor’s name], I love you baby, but all I can think about is …”

You fill in the blank with whatever you like to do.

For example, if Dima left a comment right before FancyPants, FancyPants’s comment would read “Dima, I love you baby, but all I can think about is styling my hair like it’s 1982.” (Because FancyPants is really into new wave).

Easy right?

Okay lurkers (and old friends too), let’s get retarted in here. 1, 2, 3 … comment!
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Christophe’s French 75 has been deep sixed. Now there’s only four drinks with which to get Hänni wasted. AI Cocktail Countdown in the sidebar. Vote!
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Oh and for a laugh… me and stinxy