Billions of people today will celebrate Cinco De Mayo.
Here at the haus, however, I will be celebrating Cinco De Salsa.
Why?
Because salsa is a much *cooler* condiment. Case in point: when buying fresh, salsa comes refrigerated. You can’t say the same for mayonnaise.
Plus, salsa has better hair. Look:

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Have you picked your fav. today? AI Cocktail [...]

I am an ASS. And I’m not even a garden-variety ass. No, dear hannihaus readers, I’m hardcore. The extent of my assiness is so HUGE, I’ve got to capitalize the damn word.
Indeed, I am all about the (capitalized) ASS.
And I hope you are too, because I want you to join me in my jackassery.
Today, dear [...]