The Show Must Go On!
May 11th, 2006Yesterday my baby sister, Spanky made a plea in comments that I *not* participate in the American Idol Cocktail Countdown.
And she’s right. As a New Age Mama/hardcore Nutrition Nazi, the *last* thing I should do is flood my veins with alcohol.
After all, I hear shooting organic raisins intravenously is much more fun.
But yeah, I love my sis so much. And I really value what she has to say.
Sure I was jealous of her when we were small. Back in 1985, when we didn’t have running water, I had to do it like they do on the Discovery Channel and drop trau in an Alaskan outhouse. My sister, on the other hand—the baby of the family—got to do her bizness indoors.
That’s mostly because she was always crapping her pants in the house.
… But she was in diapers in 1985 so I digress.
And it’s true, as we grew older there was some division between us. Although she always wanted to, I didn’t hang with Spank much when I was a teenyrocker.
When I was 15, she was 10 and her little jacket pockets were just too small to hold the amount of contraband needed to effectively toilet paper a high school parking lot. Because you don’t wanna squeeze the Charmin, I had to hang with kids my own age—they had roomier pockets.
These days, now that we’re adults (don’t laugh), Spanky and I are like lemon and lime. And I don’t wanna do anything she doesn’t want me too…
But there again, I do remember the time I made her eat dog food. Sis *definitely* wasn’t into that…
but I’ll be damned if I didn’t enjoy it!
That being said, you know I love you sis, but the Internet has spoken. Every day thousands, hundreds, ten a couple of you vote in my poll. And I appreciate that. Plus, I rarely miss an opportunity to do something that will likely result in me freak dancing with strangers.
AI Countdown to Cocktails is oooon. The finale is May 24th and I hope you all will join me in my debauchery by playing at home. Game details will be posted soon.
Hanni at Hannihaus dot com
hanniluvsu
hannibehr
May 11th, 2006
Quit the countdown? ‘Uhhhhh sheeyeaah. As if!’ Dearest Hanni, this is about YOU having fun! Why quit a good idea that you are personally looking forward to for wise words? You would totally regret it and then would have to be clever to come up with another good excuse to hold a party and get yourself trashed!
May 11th, 2006
uh… is this thing on????
My dearest Hännikins… in the ever-diplomatic-see-me-as-I-sit-on-the-fence-position that begs to find the happy medium between darling sister and the rest of the world… Might I suggest that you just not drink to the point of passing out?
Surely you can have one or two (no.. better make that one.. you’re a tiny little thing) to join in on festiveness known as American-who-gives-a-shit-anymore-now-that-Chris-is-gone-Idol… but yet maintain sobreity so that your fellow party-goers can be assured a safe ride home?
and to the point of playing-from-home… I have doctor’s orders that I can’t.
May 11th, 2006
As much as I value sibling opinion (NOT AT ALL), I think this should be all about you. A person that tells me not to drink alcohol is no sister of mine anyway! I say disown her and drink up! It is true what they say: people who don’t drink ARE BORING!
Excuse me, I think I’m late to my AA meeting!
May 11th, 2006
I didnt know that getting wasted was so great.. Man maybe I should get trashed… Hope you all notice the hint of sarcasm! Such a life accomplishing goal..
*Hänni Edit*
I liked your blog hans. Have fun and be careful cuz thats all I care about! Dont want anything to happen to my big sis! By the way.. Are you coming for lilly’s b-day?? Hope so!
May 11th, 2006
In my short experience of the drinking world I have come to realize that you feel like shit longer than you are having fun! It is not that I am against drinking for all who like to get trashed, I just see how there are other types of things that u could be doing. though not all legal.. *mischievious smile* oh ya and about the dog food thing hans, you might have got me there but i think i have gotten even by dragging you around for years! i like cze-johnson carrie’s suggestion.. again, much love
May 11th, 2006
FancyPants - Don’t get your fancypanties in a wad. I’ll see you at the party.
Cze-Johnson Carrie - Dude, I can’t beleive Chris is gone either! Not that I like Mr. Faux Rock that much, but I totally picked him to win for Fantasy Idol at work. Now I’m screwed out the $2 buy in! Dah!
And I think your suggestion is very diplomatic. (Too tragic about the doctor’s note though).
Dima - Oh honey, honey. Do I need to stage an intervention?
Spanky - Hey Spank yer booty, glad you like the post. It wouldn’t ‘have been possible without you! *Mwa*. And yeah, I’m coming for Lilly’s birthday. Please have some butt cream on hand, as it still hurts from all the years of rug burn its endured care of you dragging me around the house by my levis.
May 11th, 2006
Ah Spanky, I’d love to respond to you, but I like Hanni, so I won’t!
May 11th, 2006
Uh, I put a link to the poll from my blog yesterday, should I take it down?
I’ll drink with ya, but I ain’t watchin’ Idol
May 11th, 2006
That dog food thing is pretty interesting. What are your favorite brands? How about favorite flavors? Do you eat it out of a doggie bowl or right out of the container?
May 11th, 2006
I’m totally agree with Cze-Johnson. Have a tasty beverage but there’s really no reason to get hammered. Wouldn’t it be nice to eloquently pronounce those witty and insightful verbal attacks on Paula Abdul’s opinions (which really aren’t opinions at all since she hasn’t embraced the idea that a woman can have an opinon). What’s the fun in getting staggering drunk anyway? Is it the vomitting or pretending that the spins aren’t that bad when you’ve finally poured yourself into bed?
May 11th, 2006
Dima - Don’t take offense honey. We’re all friends here
the village idiot - Noooo! I’m still playing. I beleive in you, beleiving in me and my ability to guzzle rock lobsters with the greatest of ease. Viva la idiot and his posts!
gary - I *beleive* it was dry nuggets, but I could be wrong. I also remember making my brother’s friend eat dog food–that time I think it was something canned and chunky.
May 11th, 2006
I don’t like where this is headed… there’s no way I tried out half these delicious & disgusting drinks, endured not-so-nice comments from people who think a man shouldn’t watch American Idol, and spent way too much of my free time voting and selling votes, not to see some results in the end! Hänni will get trashed, one way or another!
May 11th, 2006
the dog food thing was a one time thing. haha. no offense dima, having a crappy day and your post didnt help much
May 11th, 2006
That’s ok Spanky, none taken! It’s hard to *hear* sarcasm in lifeless emotionless words sometimes!
My comment was really more aimed at insulting sibligns in general, because I have one too, and encouraging consumption of alcohol, because it’s funny as long as it’s done wisely.
May 11th, 2006
Your baby sister is wise. She is like a miniature Buddha, all covered in hair.
(Please! someone know that I am quoting Anchorman! And that I’m not saying your sister is hairy.)
Spanky, I think you are grreat!, and my little sister would be the same way with me, and I totally understand, and so I am doing my best to take care of your big sis, and to assure that she is at least not forced to drink a drink with the dread ingredient of coconut in it! : )
May 11th, 2006
So… Let’s all get loaded and then fight about this crap. At least, we’ll all be loaded. And with any luck we won’t remember what we were bitching about to begin with.
Buttery Nipple andyone!?!?!
4 in the kooch… *crickets*
May 11th, 2006
sounds good.
May 11th, 2006
to kerri’s comment, not the kooch one.. haha
May 11th, 2006
I was gonna mention the whole dancing with the lead singer from ABBA at a wedding thing… but you know… me… fence. sitting.
May 12th, 2006
I love ABBA! I do crazy things when I hear it. Incredibly sexy, crazy things…