The other day FancyPants and I were talking about how marriage is the new dating. We decided courtship is dead—society stuck a knife in its big, bursting heart and served it cold with some fava beans and a nice Chianti …
M.C.: ruining romance for everyoneAnd then, as her big ass is used to doing, Mariah Carey ate it.
…But I digress.
Anywho, it’s sad to say, but kids these days are slipping right past getting-to-know-you-ville and are advancing directly to man-and-wife town.
They are not passing Go.
They are not collecting $200.
Hell, many of today’s couples aren’t even making it through second dates.
It’s a shame, but it’s no exaggeration. I’m willing to bet that all of us, dear hannihaus readers, know someone who has made their way to the Chapel of Love (and lust) way too early.
Call me old fashioned, but I miss courtship.
I miss the idea of one soul seeking the affections of another.
I miss the good old days. You know, those antiquated times where instead of getting married right away, you got to know someone first …
by having kinky, deviant sex with them—sometimes incorporating strangers, sometimes incorporating sheep, and oft times inserting large inanimate objects in to dark orifices.
Forget love, sweet love, what the world needs now is more boobs and fewer “I dos”.
Am I right?
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So, I’ll admit it. I’m down with the brown. I like me a little greasy Mexican action. I wanna give a shoutout to blog superstar, Askheychris. Not only does his writing kick my writing’s ass, he also has been known to paint his nails, which means he’s a—*gasp*—boy who wears makeup. Rock! Check him out.
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Wanna get me wasted? Vote in the sidebar. Another drink gets kicked off the AI Cocktail Countdown tonight.
ahh just what the world needs, MORE MEN IN MAKEUP!!!!!!!!!!!! xtashx
good stuff h-doll! looks like i had it right all along…
I always figured you the type to regret never getting wooly with a sheep before settling down with Angelface! It’s all that organic makeup and shit… makes you kick up the kink factor, I think.
But seriously.. it’s either the sheep or my boobs. you can’t have ‘em both. cause in Cze-johnsonville… I don’t do the ewe. BAH!
It’s funny – I keep thinking the opposite. I often think that it’s odd how now, couples date for YEARS before marriage, whereas Back In The Day, our grandparents married after only weeks or months of courtship. I don’t know anyone my age who is married, who hasn’t been dating their S/O for at least a year.
As black eyed peas would say “where is the love?”
Heh, spanky… Hanson said that too! God, why do I know the things I do?
Let me think, off the top of my head I know 3 couples that now going to be married in the coming months who have not been dating for even a year yet. Two of the cases, the girl is under 20 years old. Nutties! Then, I can think of, oh four cases where someone I have known got married and is already cheating before the first year is done. I think it all comes from a sample of other human beings we call celebrities, who have this special ability to pave the path for the rest of the entire world and will tell us what we will be wearing, what we will be saying and how we will be acting in the near future. Marriage after knowing someone for 2 months is one of those things.
Kinky, deviant sex? I’m not an expert, but isn’t that redundant?
My dream is go get knocked up by a couch-jumping mad scientologist, not to be mistaken by a scientist. He also has a laugh like that of a mad horse! I want to have his baby before I marry him, and while pregnant insist that I am a good Catholic girl who’s waiting till marriage. Then have his satan baby without screaming while waiting for our alien savior!
hey, you really rock! found your site through askheychris but it’s awesome, can’t wait to see what you have to say next! i’m so jealous you got to talk to him for real
An Appeal for the Lobster
What’s this wimpy “Jack Off” drink?
By my count, it has one 80 proof liquor mixed with several things to make it less alcoholly.
The Lobster, however, features an 80 proof liquor, followed by a 33 proof liquor and not so much mixers.
Seems like if the true goal is to make our adorable Hanni do silly drunken things, we should vote for the Lobstah.
Just my two cents worth.
i vote none of the drinks! hanni is a very intelligent person and while killing your brain cells might sound like fun i think it’s better to savor the soberness! love u hans!
I knew as soon as I saw the references to your kinky sexcapades that Mr. Lover would be posting soon. I love it! I only hope that said references will not linger in my head too long. I have to share a cube with you at the software joint. It’s weird – cause you are like a sister type. MY SISTER IS NOT A SLUT!
BACK fiends – BACK!
BTW – I dated my ball and chain for 9 years before she owned my balls and chain. I recommend waiting at least that long! Most couples that divorce only stay together for around 7 years. So if you stay with someone for 9 then I think it’s safe to get hitched.
Enough of this serious crap!
4 in the kooch and only ONE in the spouse’s dark orifices at a time, damnit!
I am in mourning for my beloved coked-out bee. And for the boobies.
Did I ever tell you that you’re a sharp cookie also, Mrs. Spankynator?? I vote none too!