Now that I live in Florida, I rarely wear hosiery.  Instead I slather bronzer on my cankles and call it good.  Because it’s always so effing hot here, most people do likewise.

Imagine my surprise then, when I walked into a party and the vast majority of attendees were wearing tights… and they were men.

Yesterday Angelface and I attended our first ever renaissance-themed wedding.  Although we were encouraged to, Angel and I did *not* dress the part.  Angel wore a suit and I wore Cheetah Chic, the Sexiest Little Cocktail Dress…EVER.

When you’re wearing the Sexiest Little Cocktail Dress…EVER, you need fantastic hair to match.  I told Angel I was going to try a faux hawk.  When questioned as to what a faux hawk was, I explained it’s like a mohawk in the front with a ponytail in the back.  Angel, eyebrows raised, said, “Alright baby, but if you faux hawk it up, you won’t have time to fix it.”

Heh.  He said “faux hawk it up.”

The only thing funnier than the fact that I am (apparently) married to a comedian, was a sign I saw during the two-hour drive to the wedding site.  Forced to travel country roads, I laughed at a backwoods billboard that said Pray for teachers, in Jesus’ name.  I’m not sure why they needed to specify the Jesus thing, except it would be real bad if someone prayed in the name of Paris Hilton and instead of eternal salvation they got herpes.

But anyway, the wedding was lovely.  The bride arrived in a horse drawn carriage and her 14 attendants were all beautiful.  The reception was great too.  At some point, my inhibitions lowered by much merry making (re: alcohol), I decided that this would be an attractive pose:

And I also thought it acceptable, nay crucial, that I freak dance with some random chick dressed like She-Ra.  Boy am I glad someone thought to capture that moment.

After the wedding, the trip home went really fast.  Mostly because I was passed out drunk in the passenger seat for two hours.  Angel told me later I woke up once when he asked me for toll money.  Apparently I yelled at him and threw my purse.  It’s good to know, even when I’m inebriated, I still act like my usual self.

And with that, this recap is done.  I’m off to sleep and drink fluids.

Til next, dear hannihaus readers, adieu.