Today I visited a Web site that had this cool feature called the Rumor Mill. Simple, all you do is type a rumor, click “Send That Shit In!,” and you’re good to go. Once submitted, your rumor will display, along with 29 other untruths, in a continuous, random loop.
Examples of rumors currently circulating include: “Armored maloogars are coming for me,” “You can catch Down’s syndrome from toilet seats,” “Smoking gives you herpes,” and “I have hemorrhoids.”
These rumors are pretty funny, because they’re all obviously untrue…
Well, except for the hemorrhoid one.
I really do have a hemorrhoid. And it’s a real pain in my ass… but I digress.
Because I like playing games, with a shout of “let’s get retarded in here,” into the Rumor Mill, I entered:
I have boobs.
Initially I thought it a winning submission. After all, everybody likes jublees. But then I got to thinking, my rumor really sucked, mostly because I’m a girl. If a dude had posted my rumor, it would’ve been funny, because boys don’t have boobs.
…But there again, apparently, neither do I.
Panicked at the idea of posting something online that isn’t comedy gold, I broke into a cold sweat. Nervous, I grabbed my necklace and gave it a sharp jerk. This caused my head to snap downwards.
Before I knew it, I was staring straight down the front of my low-cut, black Gap t-shirt.
Guess what I saw: boobies. But only the padded kind that come standard with my Wonderbra.
“Hot damn!” I thought, trying to push up the puppies I don’t have, “that is a good rumor after all!”
________________________________________________________
Let’s talk trash dear hannihaus readers. Got a rumor? Dish your dirt here.
You totally made my night…
Giggity!
As a respectful male lurker, I can’t begin to think how to respond to this post, but I guess Mr. Lover Can! haha
But that reminds me of another site which is slightly less glamorous: the Anonymous Message Server.
Also on that site – a page that guesses the sitcom character and/or dictator of your choice – and it’s never wrong! God I am a nerd…
OMG! I saw your post! I’ll continue the gossip in AK and make sure that everyone knows what you’ve got under your fabulous Gap threads.
I guess I can go on there and say “I have no boobs!”
Want some of mine?
Boobs or no boobs, I have to say: it’s nipple time
This is thanks to my previous (note: very white) roommate !
His pic has been up on our wall for years. Rosacea and all, it used to be the game piece to a little game called “Pin Jeff’s Head on Tony Danza’s Penis”
I don’t know why you keep going on and on about boobs, Hanni. Everyone has em. Mine happen to be cute and perky.
You’re probably just not pushing hard enough. Try pushing harder.
Mr Lover – Your mom made my night.
Dima – Yes. i’m totally hot for your boobs.
Manuel – as always, i think you’re totally demented.
Cody – Uhm… you’re a dude…
gary – Sure gary, while i’m doing this i’ll be sure to chant “we must, we must, we must increase our bust!”