Oh Mariah, Mariah, Mariah. You’ve done it again.
I guess, dear MC, you’ve been so busy stuffing snack cakes into it, that you forgot it’s ok to keep your big, fat mouth shut every once in a while.
Media outlets all over the world are reporting that our favorite Pillsbury Dough Girl is blaming haute couture powerhouse, Chanel for an “imperfect appearance” at the 2006 Golden Globes.
Mariah Carey at the Golden Globes. Girlfriend has more rolls than a bakery.After having her plunging, black, tootsie-roll of a dress likened to a “wine bottle opener” by fashion expert, David Evangelista, Mariah “fought back” by saying, “Satin is very unforgiving.”
And then – in an effort to comfort herself for all the wrong that designer, Karl Lagerfeld had done her – Mariah opened a twin pack of pizza-flavored Pringles and went to town.
But anyway…
Mariah Carey (inconceivably) blames Chanel Couture for making her look like a Jimmy Dean sausage.
I think she’s got it all wrong. Clearly Mariah Carey should be blaming Jimmy Dean sausage for making her look like Jimmy Dean sausage…. But I’m just stating the obvious here.
And in a related note – from the Unbelievable But True Department – a quick google for “Mariah Carey blames” shows miss Carey is not new to this kind of passing-the-buck tomfoolery.
In July, Princess Poppin Fresh said her phenomenal flop of a movie, Glitter failed because it was released around 9/11.
I know you’re like “oh no she di’int.” But oh yes she did. Mariah blamed Glitter’s supreme suckage not on her performance, but on the obvious culprit: terrorists.
WTF folks?!
We all know that if the terrorists really wanted to get back at us, then forcing us to sit through a screening of Glitter would be the *perfect* vehicle for torture.
But I digress.
Thanks Niccy B for the Chanel article.
Ok, I thought I would change my name a bit, since there are 2 Erins who usually comment on your site.
You have made it your personal mission to rag on Mariah, and I think it is hilarious. Please don’t look at my Flickr photos though, because if you think she is the Pilsbury Doughboy, I must be the Stay Puft Marshmellow Man.
Erin Mc – Awww, that’s so nice of you to change your username so the other Erin can keep hers. It’s a little like Jesus dying on the cross so we can spit and swear and say mean things about M. Carey, huh?
On a related note, about Mariah, honestly I wouldn’t be so hot and bothered if I didn’t get that nastygram fangurl all hot and bothered back in Jan. And I’m going to *totally* look at your Flickr, and I’m going to love, love, love your pics. (I’ve seen you before on at Slaminky and I already know you’re a hottie.)
Please don’t think i’m anti- meat-on-bones, because I’m not. I’m just saying, I wish MC’d dress like you’d expect a “classy”, rich brod to dress – IE in clothes that fit properly.
Ok, so Manuel is not numero uno. I step out for a minute to pick up my car (which is no Pussy Patrol… I mean Pussy Patrol) that had been in the shop for twenty-ninth random reason this year, and I missed it.
¡Santa Maria!
So, in favor of not stalking you on v-day, I waited till today to give you your valentine! Ok, so I actually forgot, but what Mariah’s reasoning for Glitter’s failure reminded me of was:
It’s just like you, wrong but funny…
OH NO SHE DI’INT! All the twinky and HO ho eating must be causing her mental retardation in addition to her ass fat-ation! Maybe we can torture terrorists by making them watch Glitter! It’s pay back time you bastards! Take this: A MARIAH MOVIE!
I’ve worked with Mariah, Whitney, Madonna, Elton John… Did I mention I played bass for Journey?
But just think if I could combine Mariah Carey and William Hung? Dawg!
Just so we’re on the same page, that ^^^ totally doesn’t count as one! Unless Hänni wants it to… Judges?
Hey Maria, try sucking the cream out of something else besides a twinkie. Like William Hung. You may lose a few inches. hehe Livin La vita loca (that was really gross) I just had to. But it would be less filling.
I can’t believe you didn’t like Glitter. It’s a modern day masterpiece. You obviously don’t know what a good piece of film looks like! It holds its own alongside other classics such as Biodome, Gigli, Short Circuit II, Mario Brothers and Leprechan In The Hood. Get off your high horse! =)
I remember that nastygram. That was funny stuff. I can’t imagine what got that woman so bent out of shape. I don’t wonder about Mariah, though. Thanks to you, I know what got Mariah bent out of shape. It was Ho Ho’s.
oh my god. the dress… I just can’t even BEGIN to comment.
the VIDEO though??? seriously. I’ve watched it four times already. once for each of the guys. I think that was better than the shit story….. classic archives for SURE.
Thanks, Cze-Johnson Carrie! You’re goin to Hollywood, baby!
That’s right, unlike Mariah I write back to my fans! One love! Peace.
What bitch? What do you call this? I guess you didn’t see who’s on the cover of the February Rolling Stone, did ya Randy?
Oh, and the only place I’m huge is on the billboards outside of Virgin Megastore!
Sorry about all this, Hänni, we’re cool right? I mean I sent you that valentine and all…
xoxo
And how, pretel, does Mariah account for looking like an Amazon women while standing next to Ryan Seacrest on New Years Eve? As far as I could see, Chanel Couture was nowhere in sight.
I also read someplace that MC claimed “Glitter” wasn’t well received because it was “before its time”. Mmmmkay. I’m thinking that it came too late…like the minute they started using SOUND in movies??!!
oh no she din’t – on both counts
Give me some of those drugs, MC!