I was supposed to be here in December, but a little something called Mystery Malady sidelined those plans. Instead of being home with Maaa and Popi, communing over cocoa, I spent my holidays confined to a sickbed in Florida –my only respite from which was to visit a doctor who put her finger in my [...]

I usually get boring stuff like “Call me, k?”, “Love u babe”, or “I’m totally there!” text messaged to me on my phone. Last night, however, I got something that was totally unexpected, entirely delightful, and quite possibly a little explosive in nature.
As I was heading home from work, from my darling friend Christoph, I [...]

I don’t get it. You’ve got fame. You’ve got money. You’ve got a stylist who does all your fitting and primping…
And yet, during an appearance on national TV, you still manage to look like Cornelius from Planet of the Apes.
Paula Abdul, for displaying the best helmet hair this side of Chewbacca’s Wookieefied forehead, [...]

At A Very Hip Software Company, every once in a while we hear the Voice of God. Booming and nebulous, an announcement from the Voice of God plays through our cube farm speakerphones and is always prefaced by a loud BLEEP and some static.
Yes for some, their arrival is heralded by Pomp and Circumstance. But [...]

Whilst cruising down the grocery store aisles at Publix, I heard a funny announcement. A sleepy voice, employing a dead-on Ben Steinesque monotone called out over the intercom:
“Rolls to bakery… rolls to bakery.”
Upon hearing the call for crusty bread, I began to snicker. And then guffaw. Eventually I started snorting… very loudly. So loudly in [...]

Oh Mariah, Mariah, Mariah. You’ve done it again.
I guess, dear MC, you’ve been so busy stuffing snack cakes into it, that you forgot it’s ok to keep your big, fat mouth shut every once in a while.
Media outlets all over the world are reporting that our favorite Pillsbury Dough Girl is blaming haute couture [...]

I hope Satan’s staying snug in his parka and boots, because I got something in the mail. You’ll never guess who wants to be my valentine:

Yes, apparently Mariah Carey *hearts* Hänni.
I have to say, with all my name calling, the Singing Diva is the last person I’d expect to show me some love. So for [...]

then I can too-write a meme that is.
A lot of people are indignant about doing memes, and blatantly refuse to play along. I understand this, because it is difficult to relinquish control of your content when it comes to blogging. For example, I like writing about diarrhea. Is there a meme in existence that talks [...]

My darling friend Violette called this morning. “Hey girl,” she said “what are you up to?”
“Well Vi,” I replied, “I’m in bed, laid back, chillin’. I’m not feeling so great.”
“What’s wrong?” my friend asked, concern in her voice.
“I have a stomach bug.”
“Oh no! Are you vomiting?”
“No, it’s um, not that kind of stomach bug.”
“Oh… so [...]

A few weeks ago, in an effort to really rock this blog (as per my resolution), I announced that I would start talking about new topics here at the haus. While I am not ready to discuss Karen, my hemorrhoid, I am interested in working a little sports spielage into the discussion.
Now I don’t know [...]