Archive for November, 2005

Pizzahutenoff

Wednesday, November 9th, 2005

Let’s pretend it’s Monday, so I can play mrtl’s game. Her theme this week is “won”, so today I’d like to talk about how I’m a weiner winner in life.
An extreme overachiever, you might expect to hear about my various scholastic achievements – how I kicked ass in elementary school elocution contests, how I’ve [...]

A Christmas Story Kid Grows Up, Does Porn

Tuesday, November 8th, 2005

Someone told me that Ralphie’s friend, Flick (aka Scotty Schwartz), from the classic 1983 film and TBS Superstation 24-7 holiday staple, A Christmas Story, was now making movies for the adult entertainment industry.
This is sad, but predictable, as there aren’t many venues for washed up child stars these days. Porn is one [...]

On The Drive Home

Sunday, November 6th, 2005

“No farting in the Jeep” Angel says as he wrinkles his nose in disgust and rolls down the windows.
“I’m sorry but we’ve just eaten at Diarrhea Golden Corral and I can’t help it,” I say, (knowing full well I can, but find my anal acoustics more amusing.)
He says, (with deeply furrowed brow), “Seriously, don’t [...]

The Truth

Friday, November 4th, 2005

If you met me today, you’d probably think “Wow, she’s fun and remarkably well adjusted”, but the truth is I spent many of my teen years in a panic. I was worried because I was *gasp* a virgin (hi maaa), at a time when lots of my peers weren’t.
Now, every time I hear a [...]

Tickling my Giggle Bone

Wednesday, November 2nd, 2005

Some have their smoke breaks, while others rely on Wheel of Death,(also known as the vending machine), to provide some sweet solace from the stresses of work. I personally like to put on concerts for my cubicle mates, wherein I crank up my iPod real loud and then sing along with Bright Eyes, Fall [...]

Of Rock Stars and Root Canals

Tuesday, November 1st, 2005

Well it’s official, Rockstar Brother has quit the band. After four years of living and breathing North Coast Punk Rawk, NothingLess and Rockstar Brother have agreed to end it amicably.
Rockstar Brother writes:
Dear NothingLess,
It wasn’t you. It was me. I think we need some time apart… I need to clear my psyche (and [...]