On The Phone with Angel
November 13th, 2005“Hello,” I say.
“Hey,” he says in his sweet, southern accent, “hows it goin’?”
“Fine,” I say, “I’m just working on writing something. It’s an entry for a competition –I want to win a Jesus dress up magnet set. It comes with heels and hot pants.”
“Cool, cool,” he says, completely nonplussed by my irreverent activities. “Hey, what are we having for dinner?”
“Oh I don’t know… chicken? Spaghetti? Truth be told, I’m not very hungry. I just had some of your ice cream.”
“Oh yeah? How much?”
“Not very much.”
“How much?”
“Just a little bit really, like two bowls –but small bowls. Like lemon-water, finger bowl-sized bowls.”
“Hänni! Two bowls?! Is there any left for me, fat ass?”
“Yeah of course, there’s plenty. And hey, I did you a favor. Aren’t you on a diet or something?” …
I say this last sentence quickly, too quickly. Fearing the divine retribution of a man and his stomach scorned, I try to lessen the blow, but all that comes out of my backpedaling pie hole is a rather unspectacular, “erm…”
“Don’t worry about me,” Angel quips back, “I’ll lose weight alright. I’m gonna get a real good work out when I come home and whip your ass for eating my ice cream!”
“Ha ha!” I laugh.
Tub of Edy’s Double Fudge Brownie ice cream: $3.00
Number of bowls strategically stuffed at 5pm, (one hour before Angel gets home), to ensure ample time for unmitigated access to ice cream that isn’t yours: 2
Knowing he’d do the same to you: Priceless
Hanni at Hannihaus dot com
hanniluvsu
hannibehr
November 13th, 2005
How sweet is it that he calls you “fat ass”! It’s four syllables with the accent, right?
November 13th, 2005
What happened to the good old days when husbands and wives shared the food? What’s up with this “his ice cream” and “my soy milk” business? Now pass the double fudge brownie ice cream this way before both of you get some real good ass whoopin’
November 14th, 2005
mrtl - Yep, you must’ve spent some time in the south.
Dima - Ha! Too late. We killed that puppy in two sittings… and that’s why we only have ice cream in the house but 3-4X/year.
November 14th, 2005
LOL that’s funny. As natural providers we would not get upset over eaten food. But men on the other hand think they own all the food. My husband concurred.
November 14th, 2005
Niccy B - Yes, aren’t men children? I know Angel is all about the eye-for-an-eye when it comes to food filching. Bad for him, if he wants to get back at me, the only food I really care about is my organic stuff, and he thinks anything that is “whole” or “natural” or “organic” is yucky and highly suspicious.
November 14th, 2005
Ah…love.
November 14th, 2005
What’s mine is mine. What’s yours is mine. Do you really believe that the only food you really care about is organic stuff?? There is a reason why so many people think “natural” food taste like crap. Usually it tastes pretty good before the nutrition is processed out of it and people get used to the tase of it that way. But some of it is like eating earth. Gotta have catsup to go with the wheat grass. Dove Bars are good for washing down the taste of baked cod too.
November 14th, 2005
Amanda B - Yeah, Angel is the bees knees.
url - Ok, i give. I also *really* like DoubleTree chocolate chip cookies and Chipolte vegetarian burritos (sans tortilla). Angel only likes 50% of those two things, (bet you can guess what 50% he likes), so I’m fairly safe.
And url, if you must have ketchup, choose Heinz organic. That’s what I keep for Angel to eat with the hormone free, bunless burgers we make at our haus.
November 15th, 2005
All’s fair in love, war and ice cream.
November 15th, 2005
What would Jesus is hot pants do?
November 15th, 2005
Of course, I meant, “What would Jesus IN hot pants do?”
November 16th, 2005
Vonkranki - Cheers to that!
Miss Marisol (how we’ve missed you) - Hot Pants Jee would stuff the double fudge. Let’s not shit ourselves.