Posts published during October, 2005

20 comments

All Man

Angelface is a man’s man. Case in point: his favorite beer is Bud Light, and his favorite pastimes include flying, golfing, washing the cars, and playing Xbox.

He is the yang to my yin, the salt to my sugar, the franz to my hans.

In short, he is all man.

That being said, I find it hilarious that Angel has recently veered away from his barbershop haircuts and is now getting his hair did at a place called “Bit of Charm”.

bit o charm

Admittedly, there is a reasonable explanation for Angel’s segue from the world of buzz cuts and straight razors to the world of styling, spraying, hair coloring and highlights. You see, Kristin, who cut his hair at Sports Clips, has left the Men Den to pursue business at her own place, said Bit of Charm salon.

Angelface really likes Kristin, and made it a point to bring me her business card. “Baby she does all sorts of things, like hair coloring and styling, all for a reasonable price!” Angel told me with great enthusiasm.

And I’m proud of him for having the cojones to get his hair cut at a salon. I really am. I think it’s never a good sign when part of your hair cut involves five minutes with a flowbee, which is standard practice at a barber shop.

I just think it’s really funny that this enthusiasm, this extreme excitement about a place called Bit of Charm is coming from a man who won’t wear a scarf in 10 degree weather because it’s “too girly.”

But I digress.

So help me out dear hannihaus readers. I’m curious, ladies, where does your man draw the line? What’s too girly? And dudes, we want to hear from you too.

One time someone asked Angelface what he thought of my blog. Angel said that it’s a funny read, but imagine having to live it 24/7. With that, the questioner’s face turned sympathetic, and he gave Angelface a conciliatory pat on the back.

Don’t get me wrong, Angel really loves me, but yeah it’s stuff like this that can elicit a groan every once in a while:

Picture this – Angelface has just spent an hour washing my beloved Corolla, Ruby, in 90 degree heat. I meanwhile, have been reading Rollingstone and taking a cat nap all afternoon. (Note: cat naps here do not mean 15 minutes of shut eye. Hell no. Rather, I am referring to the fact that my two kittinks were napping with me while I spent three hours staring at the back of my eyelids. But I digress).

Angelface wakes me from my lazy slumber to report on his progress. He’s sweaty, tired and a little cranky looking.

Husband says, “Hey, I’ve been washing and detailing Ruby. I just need to put a coat of wax on.”

Wife says, “Mm hmm.”

Husband says, “Hey, why don’t you help?”

Wife says (channeling Mr. Miyagi circa 1984), “But of course darling. I’m really good at waxing off.”

10 comments

You’re Hired!

Today is a very special day for those who have followed my recent rise to fame. It’s unbelievable that last week I was a humble haus mistress, and this week, beloved Blog Queen mrtl reports I am a diva of the highest order. (I cannot help but agree!)

That being said, it has become apparent, dear hannihaus readers that I need to have an extra someone on staff to handle my affairs. I need a personal assistant to do all things I never feel like doing, (I.e. shaving my toes, waxing my spleen, buttering my organic, sprouted wheat toast, etc), and I am proud to say I’ve had inquiries from several interested applicants.

Earlier this week I announced we’d be having a vote today to discern the winning applicant. Well, guess what? We’re not polling today because, let’s face it, voting doesn’t always work. If that were the case, we’d be calling Gdub Governor Bush right now, because, well, that’s the last office he was voted into.

Ba dum bum ching.

Okay, so without further ado, I will announce my new PA. I first want to say that this decision was extremely difficult, however, I think we’d all agree… ScottyGee you kicked some major a$$ in the bid to become my manservant personal assistant, and for that you will be generously rewarded. For volunteering to serve me Evian whilst wearing lederhosen, we salute you.

ScottyGee, you’re a tough negotiator, and I think you will find your compensation package to be quite satisfying. I’d like you to know I threw in an extra box of Kleenex b/c I think you will need it to wipe away those tears of joy that must be streaming down your oh-so-grateful face at this very moment.

But before we get to Scotty’s compensation I just want to say Erin and Phyrephly you were both extremely qualified candidates. Erin, you were not afraid to bend me into yoga pretzels, and phyrephly your attention to my ass and how fat it’s getting, well it shows how much you truly care.

Although I can not hire you both at this time (am running low on tp and raisins), I would like to give Erin a special conciliatory something: Erin, because we love you babe, we are giving you the opportunity to go All The Way with Richard Marx look-alike and beloved hannihaus admin, SORM! (Phyrephly, I’d say you could make out with SORM too, but I know you’re not into making out with other dudes… that’s something we leave to resident gay man of the haus, Hänni’s ex-boyfriend, CFTP).

And now, because you’ve waited so long for your reward, ScottyGee, I present your compensation package:
compensation package

*Please note, the kitten is not included. He is merely my quality assurance agent. He found the sweatband to be sufficiently fun to chew on, and he certified the toilet paper worthy of being pulled from the roll and piled in a heap on the floor for displaying when guests are over* Congrats!