Remember that boy in your high school homeroom – the one who felt compelled to be the class clown – the one who would, right at the most inopportune moments, mash his eyelids together, hack twice and blow gale-force farts at the teacher?

Yeah, he was pretty lame.

It’s kind of sad what stupid people do for attention.

Bearing this in mind, dear hannihaus readers, meet the Kai family. Internet week introduced me to this wacky clan when they announced “Search-Crazy Swedes Name Baby ‘Google’”.

It seems that Papa Kai works for a SEO (search engine optimization) company, and surprise, surprise is also developing a new Google service from home – a fact he mentions over and over on the series of spammy sites he’s created to exploit showcase the young innocent who has the shitty distinction good fortune of being Papa Kai’s son.

I find it really interesting that Baby Google, born on September 12th, didn’t have a Web site heralding his birth until October 15th – That’s a whole 4 weeks after he was ripped from the safety of Mommy’s womb and thrown into a nursery full of babes who, in six years, will be beating the poor kids ass on the playground.

So yeah, 4 weeks is a long time… Why on earth would you need 4 weeks to make a birth announcement? Gee I don’t know, but I do know that 4 weeks is probably long enough for someone to mastermind and then implement a grotesquely optimized series of pages designed to attract a *hack* certain search engine…

And just in case that certain search engine (for which you have massive wood) finds you and makes you famous on their blog, well you’d better be sure to post your RESUME next to that picture of your giggling, bouncing, baby boy.

People who parade their kids around like helpless show ponies, they make me SICK.

I mean what kind of monster has the chutzpah to exploit the sacred institution of procreation, all in the name of professional gain?

TomKat, eat your freakin heart out.