On this, the spookiest day of the year, I vant to vish you, dear hannihaus readers, a safe and happy Halloween. Mwa ha ha ha!
And if you’re in the area, stop on by and watch trick-or-treaters kick me in the shins, as I hand out raisins instead of candy.
Yes, I am that evil… and [...]

As I snuggled into my punky-colored seat on the Friday night flight, I thought how appropriate that the first song on the new CD I’d purchased for my trip was called Marching Bands of Manhattan. That’s because that’s exactly where I was going –A few days ago, somewhat spur-of-the-moment, I loaded up my iPod with [...]

O.k., so I guess this was released a few months ago, but you know what? I’m kind of slow, so you’ll have to bear with me while I gush about Google Video, because it’s just the Jane-dandiest.
My discovery of this searchable database of personally and professionally produced videos couldn’t come at a better time, [...]

I have, and I do. Yep my life pretty much sucks right now… mostly because I have foot-in-mouth disease.
I haven’t wanted to run away with the circus this bad since I split my pants in the 9th grade. I was already awkward at 14, and it certainly didn’t help my self esteem to [...]

Today kids I want to talk about the Flying Spaghetti Monster. And no, I’m not talking about “The” Flying Spaghetti Monster with his noodly appendages and Pastafarian followers. We are much too lowbrow, here at the haus, to discuss the Lord of Linguine and his role in intelligent design. (But if [...]

Apparently I’m all hardcore n’ shit, as I’m only one of a handful of ya yas dumb enough to drive through a hurricane to get to work this morning. And guess what? Because common sense indicates I should be home, well that’s where my boss sent me! Wilma, you’re such a saucy minx. [...]

A few days ago, too tired to cook four ourselves, Angelface and I made the unfortunate decision to go foraging for fast food.
And I know what you’re thinking. You’re panicked, because the Nutrition Nazi ate food that was not organically grown and omega3-enriched. Well, if it makes you feel any better, we chose a “healthier” [...]

Remember that boy in your high school homeroom – the one who felt compelled to be the class clown – the one who would, right at the most inopportune moments, mash his eyelids together, hack twice and blow gale-force farts at the teacher?
Yeah, he was pretty lame.
It’s kind of sad what stupid people do for [...]

I really wanted to keep quiet about this, but I just can’t. You see, the words won’t fit in my mouth. Even though yesterday I kind of said it was okay, I can not, in any circumstances, condone soda drinking.
Drink martinis if you must, but for God’s sakes, stay away from the mother loving soft [...]

One thing about working where I do is, any time management decides they want to spoil us working-class grunts, they do it with food. Usually the food is tied to a celebration. It’s like “Oh! It’s so-and-so’s birthday – let’s have cake!”, or “Ms. Whats-Her-Name graduated night school. To celebrate, let’s all shove a bagel [...]