The fabulous Femina Formosa tagged my ass with a meme, so sit back and enjoy. Here’s a little bit about Hänni.

Ten years ago I was starting my sophomore year of high school. Even though I wasn’t eligible, I desperately wanted to attend to the Senior Prom. My bigot principal, however, wouldn’t allow me to go with my friends, and I had to find a male date. I tricked some schmuck from my choir class into taking me. He showed up at my door wearing a white tuxedo with tails. He also had a flaming pink bowtie. His friend, already a grad, was with him wearing the same white tuxedo, but he had a mint green bowtie. They looked like the ambiguously gay duo. This should’ve been my first clue to stay at home that night, but I didn’t, and consequently I suffered. Instead of hanging out with my friends, I spent the entire night slow dancing with a little, 18 year-old-man and his bald spot. He tap danced to Gangster’s Paradise. After the prom I crushed my souvenir glass, started wearing shirts that said things like “Girls Kick Ass,” and then swore off guys for several years.

Five years ago I was starting my sophomore year of college at Virginia Tech. I had just come off a stint working the Worst. Job. Ever. as phone jockey for a seafood transport company. In contrast, the previous summer I had the Best. Job. Ever. working as an intern in the United States senate. At the end of that pre-freshman summer my then-boyfriend, CFTP, surprised me by stealing his dad’s car to take me on a joyride that spanned Seattle to San Francisco and back.

One year ago Angelface and I were newly married. We were boarding up our apartment to defend against our second hurricane. Unbeknownst to us, this little routine is something we had to repeat two more times last year!

Five snacks
• My best friend Nolie’s chocolate chip cookies
• Snickers ice cream bars
• Pizza rolls
• Craisins
• Anything organic

Five songs I know all the words to
• Just a Girl – No Doubt
• Doll Parts – Hole
• Open The Door – Magna Pop
• Blister In The Sun – Violent Femmes
• Kielbasa – Tenacious D

Five places I would run away to
• Never never land
• Key West
• Kyoto, Japan
• Butchart Gardens
• The library (nonfiction stacks)

Five things I would never wear
• Thong underwear (If I wanted floss in my butt, I’d use a crest dispenser)
• White pants
• Pedophile sunglasses
• Anything from Wal-Mart
• Birthday suit in public (private is fine. Am blogging in bday suit now actually)

Five favorite teevee shows
• Dawson’s Creek
• Ren & Stimpy
• Alias
• American Idol
• The O.C.

Five biggest joys
• Drinking champagne on my wedding day
• Playing with my baby nieces
• Watching Rockstar Brother play the AK State Fair
• Adopting my kittinks
• Writing for the haus!

Five favorite toys
• iPOD
• WordPress
• Kitchenaid mixer
• Cuisinart food processor
• Angelface (he is my boytoy after all)

Five people to pass this on to
Hino “deez nutz” Banzon – because he loves this kind of crap
Violette Margarita Conchita Torrez Guadeloupe – because I want her attention (and for her to post Other People’s Money pics!)
Jonathan – because he is a man of mystery whose meme we’d like revealed
Phineahs Gray – because you too are a man of mystery
SORM – because there’s a “favorite toys” section and I know you are dying to brag about your fancy powerbook

I have enjoyed playing this game of virtual tag, but must now get ready for work. Til next, adieu!