Angelface and I have this ongoing debate. Angel asserts that there are more rednecks in Alaska (where my parents live) than in West Virginia (where his parents live). I have to disagree. Having spent time in both states, I can honestly say that the mullet count-that classic redneck hairdo, that antithesis of class, that façade that boasts party-in-the-front, business-in-the-back- is displayed much more prominently in West Virginia than in Alaska.
I’m not really sure why this is true. I imagine it’s because it’s so freaking cold in Alaska and you’d be a damn buffoon to only grow out 50% of your hair. Yeah, an Alaskan mullet could be a dangerous thing. Even though your neck would be all roasty toasty, you could still get frostbite on your forehead. Talk about confusing.
Another reason I tell Angel there are no rednecks in Alaska is that everyone knows rednecks are a southern phenomenon. Why else would Jeff Foxworthy say “You might be a redneck if more than one of your living relatives is named after a civil war general”?
Seriously, I don’t think anyone in Alaska could even tell you the name of a civil war general. Now you get an Alaskan in on a conversation about fishing, hiking, or moose turd pie, and that’s a different story.
… And I would like to take this moment to note that my MS spellchecker says “turd” is not a recognized word, but that “spellchecker” is.… But I digress.
Anyway, back to Mr. Foxworthy’s statement, might it also be true that you may be a redneck if your alma mater was named after a civil war general? I think so, and am going to point out that Angelface graduated junior high from Stonewall Jackson Middle School in Charleston-By God-West Virginia.
And here’s the part of the post where, after having made inflammatory statements about my better half, I admit that I may have been wrong the whole time. Never one to back down from eating a big, steaming, heaping portion of humble pie, I’ve got to admit, I did something in Alaska which could classify me as a redneck. It was a gorgeous sunny day at the Alaska State Fair when I first touched her soft, supple udders. Last week, dear hannihaus readers, I milked Gertie the Goat.
I am not ashamed, but I, and my Alaskan kin, might be rednecks afterall.
I’ve always considered criteria for redneck status to be the number of guns per capita, and I would imagine that Alaska’s per capita gun ratio might rival that of West Virginia’s. Maybe your hubby has a point. Though I believe the banjo ratio is higher in West Virginia…
What about amount of old cars piled in yard, or old car tires piled on the trailers roof for that matter? I think that’s some good criteria, but again, Alaska probably would come out neck and neck with WV there…
Hanni, I kind of hate to do this because I feel kind of like it’s a chain letter (minus the threats of bad luck if you don’t do it), but I’m tagging you with a meme. See my blog for details.
Funny about the redneck argument. Is Angel from southern WV? I had a friend from WV in college, and he said there was a BIG difference between northern and southern WV.
Femina, Angel says he was in central WV, and that its not whether you’re from north or south WV, but rather your proximity to a big city that determines how much of a redneck you are. Notice i said “how much” not “if”. Heh.
And I accept your meme challenge, but only if you tell me how you got those neat flower bullets!
darling,
i hate to be “that ass” but the proper mullet-ism terminology is “business in the front, party in the rear.” i apologize for having to *school you* but i can’t help it…that’s how i bring home the big bucks.
cheers!
urgh, you’re right smug elle. Can’t beleive i never caught that! I guess “business in the back” was just such a nice alliteration…