Posts published during February, 2005

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February 25, 2005

I Haven’t Been Writing Much Lately…

Because Belle got an iPOD!

She has requested that I catalog all my favorite albums in itunes post haste, so I have been forced to spend every free moment making sure the likes of Bjork, Lisa Loeb, Fugees, Coheed and Cambria, and of course, Bright Eyes are o’ hastily entered.

She has also requested that I buy darling accessories for the beloved – the iPOD that is. She particularly liked the girly purple ruffle on this snuggly, cuddly iPOD sock.

So dear readers, because Belle doesn’t have opposable thumbs for putting CDs into the disc drive, you can understand my dilemna, and know why I have been required to focus my energies outside blogging during this most musical/magical of times. For your consideration, Belle and I say thanks… well actually she says meow.

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February 15, 2005

Kanpai!

*begin warm fuzzies*

Congrats to me and Angelface – 6 months married (as of feb. 14). And so n’ love. (Jealousssss?)

And Happy 25th Birthday to Bright Eyes megatalent Conor Oberst.

“If Oberst sometimes mistakes his private turmoil for the universal condition, it is not simply because he is young; he understands that pop songs need to overstate the case, to howl, to make a moment last because there might not be another like it.” – Sasha Frere-Jones of The New Yorker.

And Happy 23 Gwendolyn Miller – precious girl extraordinaire!

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On an unrelated Note:

When unable to install a program for the purposes of demonstration for this afternoons mind-numbing creative team/programmer meeting, VietFab, my Buddhist coworker hissed Jesus under his breath.

And I thought why Jesus? Why not bust out with a Sweet Butter-Belly Buddah sometime?!

And then I was reminded how insulting it must’ve seemed when I spoke blasphemously of BabaJi. In an afternoon chat with my friend G who happens to be a Sikh, I exclaimed, “I really want a picture of an Indian guru for my living room, so when things go bad I can point to it and say ‘Pray to Babaji, *in an Indian accent* – just like that movie” (Bend it Like Beckham). And G was like “Uhm,” cause Babaji is kind of like the Sikh Jesus.

So that was a wee bit insensitive of me I suppose.

But I really *do* want a Babaji for my living room.

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February 12, 2005

Ehhhh. Yeh.

I knew yesterday was going to be another lose-your-mind Friday when Nice Guy came meandering past my desk with eyes clamped tight to the steely carpeting, as if it’s cheap, course fibers were imparting great words of wisdom about the meaning of life, the mysteries of Mozart, and the mind-boggler that is Ashlee Simpson’s ability to maintain a singing career, despite the fact that she has no discernable talent, besides making me feel vomitous each time I hear a squealing note.

So Nice Guy… While passing through, I notice he’s emitting a strange, throaty chant. In the most morose of tones, with a cartoonesque Spanish accent, Nice Guy warbled cuhhhhrist-uh, chrrrrrrrrrist, chrrrrrrrrrrist to the floor boards.

Am not sure what that was about. But I think I have a pretty good visual descriptor of Nice Guy for those who are interested:


Nice guy is Moomin incarnate.

And I realize for all his eccentricities, Nice Guy is really not so strange in the scope of things. I myself must look pretty weird to my coworkers. During my morning ritual, as I always do, I pour a big full scoop of powdered berries into my microwaved cup of Evian.

Although I know this concoction is merely a pleasantly-fragranced antioxidant tea, it could appear to my coworkers that I may be suspiciously low on fiber. Yes,this berry tea comes in a big, plastic canister just like something else people drink for their health…

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February 9, 2005

Big Pimpin

So I’m off to work in 15, but thought I would introduce a new coworker, a little someone I’ll call VietFab.

VietFab is the office’s supremely suave and charismatic Buddhist programmer. One day during a discussion about religions he noted that while catholics had their bad rep for drinking, etc, Buddhist’s achilles heel is gossip – they just can’t get enough.Anyone who has ever gone to a nail salon knows this is true. I always wonder, if like in the Seinfeld episode, the Asian ladies are twittering in their foreign tongue about the horrendous state of my dry, unkempt cuticles, or if they are making jokes about my hairy, hobbit toes.

And with that wonderful visual in your heads… we’ll continue.

So the Buddhist is talking about gossip and the Catholic in the room (Nice Guy) asks “is it really a sin to gossip?” The Buddhist replied loudly with a Hell Yeah!

And for some reason that really cracks me up. A buddhist yelling hell yeah!. Do Buddhists even believe in hell? And isn’t it a sin to curse? But if you’re a Buddhist, and you conceivably don’t believe in hell, is
“hell” a curse word? If you’re Buddhist is saying “hell yeah” the equivalent to saying “pass the cheese” or something equally benign? For that matter, if a train leaves one station going 45 miles an hour in an east bound direction, and a second train leaves a southbound station going 20 miles an hour at what point to they intersect? At what point do they crash? Do they crash at all?

Ponder that one folks.

The Buddhist has got me thinking deep thoughts already.

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February 6, 2005

I’m Wide Awake It’s Morning

I just want to say that Bright Eyes’ Conor Oberst is warm yellow light that shines all over me.

I’ve never had a strong desire to make out with a girl before, that is, until last night. Last night, Saturday night, that glorious Saturday night… I wanted to give Lilly a *big* kiss when she told me we were going to the House of Blues to see the Bright Eyes show.

I was blown away. I think I hyperventilated for about 10 minutes before moving on to the hysterical giddiness/unabashed ranting/wide-eyed wonderment stage, which I am still experiencing now 12 hours after the show.

The show was AMAZING. Conor Oberst is a musical genius with a fantastic stage presence. I totally have a crush.

He mostly played songs from Wide Awake It’s Morning, but he did an encore called “When the President Talks to God” that I hadn’t heard before. Serious and political, he fairly spit the lyrics, signaling his disgust with the current regime. The crowd went crazy. The song is available for free at iTunes and I highly recommend you download it. (And if you’d like to spend $.99 on a little piece of heaven, be sure to purchase “The First Day of My Life” as well).

And because I haven’t said it enough, I LOVE BRIGHT EYES. Thank you so much Lil!

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February 5, 2005

Mac is Whack

I love him dearly, but can I just say SORM you really pissed me off earlier this week.

I have this pet peeve, see? I absolutely despise empty IM profiles. And especially I hate how empty profiles come standard with the “No Information Provided” message. No Shhhh… genius, if a profile is freakin’ blank than – duh – there’s no information provided.

Who do they write this crap for? Monkeys who can’t understand basic fundamental truths like that water will fall from the sky when it’s raining, carrots are most nutritious when you put them in your mouth not your ass, and if something is blank it does not have content.

Can I get an Amen?

So anyway, in the good old days SORM would always post something deliciously clever in his IM profile. I always liked to read, see if he made mention of me, his most charming, profile-worthy friend. And sometimes he did. Make mention of me that is.

Well, as of late SORM has adopted the empty profile and IT DRIVES ME BATTY.

Politely I asked SORM, “Why don’t you put something in your profile. It’s v. boring.”

You know what his response was?

Can you imagine what sort of snarky, snooty retory came forth from darling SORM?

He said something like “I’m not going to put anything in my profile. I like to leave it empty – it’s a Mac thing.”

Stop the presses! *sound of screeching brakes*

A Mac thing?

Oh my god, SORM is living life according to Mac. I know this type of person. I happen to have several friends who fit this criteria. They won’t use public e-mail services – not cool enough. They must have the XXX@mac.com address to be cool. They are primarily men, they are primarily sensitive men, they are primarily sensitive men who drive VWs and practical sports cars, they are primarily sensitive men who drive VWS and practical sports cars who delight in drinking novelty drinks from Starbucks.

Because the only thing worse than having a blank profile is being a part of Mac’s geek chic, SORM I salute you. You enrich my life, giving me something to rant about whilst I’m in my every day zen-like naturopathic, antiseptic, quasi-vegetarian, gluten-free, lactose-free, caffeine-free,omega3-enriched haze.

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February 3, 2005

Congrats Lilly

As I frequently like to do when I’m not recounting some ridiculous incident I’ve been involved in, I like to pass on some warm fuzzies. Today, dear readers, congrats are in order for my dear friend Lilly who has joined me in giving our previous employer the big F- You! Yes, The Producers are really getting it stuck to them hard-style as of late. Since my departure a month ago, I have known 4 other slaves – i mean employees – who have quit and gotten better pay and benefits elsewhere. This is a lot considering their operation consists of about 5 full time slaves/employees, and about 10 part timers. 5 in a month is no small exodus.

So cheers to Lilly!

And cheers to me. I tried prune juice the first time the other night, and man does it work. Just a bit of advice, if using prune juice to lube things up, (if you will), *do not* consume it in the AM before heading to work. You will regret it, and so will your coworkers whose cubicles are near the bathroom.

Til next my loves!