Just yesterday I was boasting about how relaxed I was about this whole finals/graduation thing. I was very careful to elaborate on every aspect of relaxation, noting in particular that I wasn’t having any sleeping problems or nervous twitches under the left eye. I left out the part about me, in an effort to retain tranquility, trying to make up my own yoga routine that morning, resulting in some weird tension in my torso area.

Well, torso tension is gone, but I def. had the phantom life-change sleep thing going last night. I had this *awful* dream that I missed graduation, because I couldn’t put on my cap and gown.

In my dream I made it to the ceramony, but wasn’t wearing the cap and gown. I got sent “home,” to this dingy city flat. Of course I couldn’t find my bedroom once I got there. Then I couldn’t find my dresser in my bedroom. Then I found a gown. But it wasn’t *the* gown – it was a frumpy, corduroy, baby doll – style, emerald green frock.

Then I couldn’t get the green frock off.

Then I got it off and found my real gown. Then I couldn’t find my cap.

Then my sister gave me a cap she made. It was a cross between a beanie, a shriner fez, and a Christmas tree topper.

By the time i got all this cavorting done, people were piling out of the colliseum. Damn it, I missed grad.

Consequently, when I woke up I felt very tense and anxious – the exact feelings that just yesterday, I bragged to be free of.

So this dream has got me all out of wack, and I drink some green tea and eat some oatmeal. I relax, because in real life I know that my cap and gown is sitting safely in my closet, and I begin to day dream about graduation day and getting that nice diploma.

Then it hits me. I bet my diploma will be misspelled.

According to my birth certificate, my name is H䮮i Horn (note the beautiful umlaut over the “a”). However, the school sends my mail to “Hanni.” This is a major pet peeve. So I’ve got some funny dots on my name, why can’t the modern world just embrace it? It’s not *that weird.* It’s not like I’m requesting that my name be written in Swahilli. The umlaut is an internationally recognized Western Symbol people!

Regardless, I just *know* that my diploma will be awarded to “Hanni,” and this makes me very sad, as graduating college is the biggest accomplishment of my life thus far, save being born.

However, with a whole 6 days until grad, I don’t think there’s anyway I can check to rectify this situation. And as I write this, I realize I have a final tomorrow and haven’t started studying. Should I fail the final, perhaps I won’t graduate, making this whole hanni/hänni controversy null and void. That being said, must hit the books. Til next, adieu.