Posts published during March, 2003

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March 28, 2003

Ruby: She’ll Take Her Lovin To Town

In addition to a fiance, diamond ring, digital camera and all the blessings of family and friends, I am proud to announce the latest addition to wonderful things aquired most recently. Her name is Ruby. She is sparkly red and drives like a dream.

Yes kids i’m talking about my *new* 2003 Toyota Corolla!

I have a caar. I have a caar!

It’s kind of scary. I mean, me, owning a motor vehicle? Why, it’s never been done before! The last time I drove (previous to Ruby) was once last fall. I don’t really get around that much, preferring instead to be driven as if I name were Miss Daisy.

But as there is a first time for everything, I feel ready to face the challenges that ownership presents. I am ready to get that oil changed, to replace that air filter, to rotate those tires and pay dearly come tax time. I am ready to ride long distances on sunny days with my hair blowing out the window. I am ready to walk the mile and a half from the Cage (parking lot) to my front door. In short: I am ready to ride.

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March 27, 2003

Havana Day Dreaming

So I woke up at the butt crack of dawn (ie 7 am) this morning to read a supreme court case. And the fact that I did this just reinforces my conviction that I am one crazy lady. just wacky. I’ve got a few screws loose, am losing my marbles, am one fry short of a happy meal, etc. etc. (insert witty euphamism here)

Who gets up at 7am to do homework? And who the heck gets up at 7am. Period. Too f-ing early if you ask me.

That being said, I got through about 1/10th of the case and am now enjoying hot green tea and cinnamon roll flavored oatmeal. Yum.

And it seems okay to quit the study for which i awoke unnervingly early. You see, it is spring. Every morning the birds serenade me and the trees are beginning to blossom with pink flowers.

This morning the sun is high and bright, yet there is a good breeze coming through my window. You see, as it is the early a.m. it isn’t hot out yet, but still sunny. Like having a delicious bratwurst, onion and green pepper sandwhich for lunch, this morning is just so wonderful.

Oh bratwurst how I love thee. Am not currently eating bratwurst though obviously, as it is the aforementioned butt crack of dawn. But as I feel it is spring and time to be healthy, I do not believe I would eat the wurst. I’m on a healthy-lifestyle kick and am regularly attending yoga, avoiding deserts and am reading instead of watching t.v.

I know. I know. It sounds horrid. But really, I convince myself that I am rising above my mediocre and plebian ways of old by making my new routine something that richard simmons, the diet and fitness guru himself, would jump up and down about.

But not too much jumping.

He wears those booty shorts after all.

And he’s no Justin Timberlake, who admittadely I wouldn’t mind seeing in booty shorts.

But actually booties kind of gross me out, regardless if they are worn by sexy pop singers.

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March 23, 2003

Pop – Up Killer

Don’t you just love it when you get a pop-up that says “Block unwanted pop-ups?” I find this intrusion on my internet surfing to be highly ironic, and at times, humorous.

And I remember the good old days before the invention of the pop-ups. You’d search yahoo, lycos or excite (do lycos and excite even operate anymore?) and the majority of the pages that would come up would be personal homepages. These pages would be about about people’s dogs, cars, or their intense love of limberger cheese.

Truly, those were the golden days of the internet.

There were no pop-ups. There were none of those annoying scrolling ads. (see mtv.com for the worst of these). The big thing back in the day was banner ads. Everybody had banner ads. People even wrote books about them, telling the private person how they could get rich off the 3cents/click that visitors to their site provide.

Gosh, it would only take about 150 clicks from interested consumers in order to pay for lunch at micky d’s. Only 800 clicks to buy the Harry Potter collection (books 1-4), and a mere 100,000 clicks to pay for a semester of in-state tuition at your local community college.

That was then. This is now – banner ads have become so common place and monotonous we don’t even notice them any more. Instead, we are harassed and bombarded with pop ups offering us spy cameras, cheap travel, “free” magazine subscriptions, and reunions with high school classmates – as if i would go out of my way (read: navigate from whatever site I am currently perusing) to make contact with ex-cheerleader Mary Wilson.

If I don’t like you enough to call or send the occasional email, then I’m really not gonna give a flying s that you are making excellent customer contacts in your career as a realestate agent in nowhere, alaska. Read: not desperate enough to rekindle the friendship that never really was.

Funny thought. I will have graduated from high school 4 years ago this May. I will have graduated from Junior high 8 years from this may. I will have graduated from eating glue and learning to write my name (in kindergarten) 16 years ago!

Oh my god!

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March 20, 2003

When it Rains, It Pours

The worms come out when it rains. Here in Blacksburg when the wet hits the pavement, the worms respond in thousands. Pink curlie ques, wriggling question marks, and long exclamations mark the path on the way to class.

I am careful to look down on rainy days. I am careful not to step on the rosy nematoda, lest one get squished into my nike treads, making for a grotesque mess on bottom of shoe.

And I think it ironic that it’s raining today, of all days. You know, some people say that rain is really God’s tears, that when it pours, He’s crying.

And, being practical, I never believed the God’s tears theory. I thought, it’s just a tale – a tale of the fairy, or old wives variety. Rain is really (rationally, scientifically) caused by weather occurences, by gasses and exhanges, precipitants and patterns. Everybody knows this is the truth, right? We know it’s true cause we were taught this in our fourth grade classroom by our smiling teacher.

But what if Mrs. Bennett was *not* right. What if indeed, the fat drops of water falling heavy outside my window really are the tears of Emmanuel?

Today I disregard science and rationality. I believe something greater than cummulative clouds governs today’s rain.

I think it’s ironic that it’s raining today, because, today marks the start of a truly sad and horrific day. Today, hannihouse readers, we are at war.

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March 18, 2003

Oy Vei and Pass the Chocolate WaterFall

Sunday was a day of drudgery. Between speech writing and outlining I had a full day of menial tasking that was less than desirable for my lazy, apathetic, graduating senior – self. I did take one break Sunday. I headed to the Bridal showcase and workshop being held on campus, just feet from my room. (prime location, because, as previously mentioned, I am lazy).

Don’t get me wrong. Don’t think I was there to gush and postulate over my upcoming nuptuals. Don’t think I was there to discuss green mums, veil lenghts, or mary kay facials. Don’t think I went there to purchase a photo package or book a stay at the ramblin road inn. I was not looking for a wedding planner, caterer, videographer, or hair stylist.

Believe me. This is very important. I am *not* thinking about weddings until I get a job, a place to live, and silverware that you don’t throw away at the end of a meal.

I went for the break. I went cause I was curious. I went cause I’m an idiot about all things wedding. As I am the MOH (maid of honor) for my bestest friend Nolie, I figured I had better get some edumacashun on the subject of wedding junx.

If you go to these things, be prepared to get asked this question a lot: “so when are you getting married?” And there is no variety, no variation. Every vendor will do it the same way. First they will make small talk. Then they will halt abruptly, look you square in the eye and give you the mushiest smile ever and say, “So, when are you getting married?”

It doesn’t matter if they want to sell you hor d’oeuvers or houses, they will all give you that pathetic smile and bam, it’s “so when are you getting married?”

The *only* acception to this was the DJ. He definetly didn’t ask any questions whatsoever. DJ dude and his lady assistant just sat around and played some music. When asked if the DJ and assistant were married, they said “no, but we’ve been together forever.”

Ha. These people play weddings for a living and they haven’t even gotten around to getting hitched!

The people who work these shows are all wacky anyway. The women who run a rental store brought a fountain that bubbled milk chocolate. “Only $250!” they said.

The wedding planner/videographer ranted for ten minutes about the pros and cons of having a runner. (I have no idea what that is.) The lady had hair like Anna Nicole Smith.

The resort lady tried to sell me a honeymoon package with all inclusive golf.

The look of horror on my face could’ve stopped clocks.

No way am I going anywhere with Angelface that has all inclusive golf, *especially* not my honeymoon. I want to actually *see* Angel on our honeymoon.

The show was fun, but I tell you what, it’ll be a long time before I go back to that looney bin again!

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March 16, 2003

Tech Bytes

I find it ironic that my blogger template won’t open today. (I am typing this in word for post later.) It is only fitting, as I’ve decided to write on the topic of why my computer, slow servers, and technology in general is ruining my week.

After spending an agonizing week compressing, zipping, uploading, downloading, copying and deleting my paltry 86 pictures from Disney world, I still can’t get them small enough to email or post on the filebox server. And I totally want to show people my great pics.

Why the hell do I have a digital camera if I can’t post the pics? I certainly can’t print them, as have 8 pieces of photo paper and an HP deskjet that is only sufficient for printing black and white word documents ? well it probably could print in color, but as I haven?t bothered to replace that cartridge that ran out in 2000, well color is a non-issue.

So I think, okay, gotta get those pics distributed some way. And then I think maybe I should burn them onto a cd ? I think I have a couple of those lying around.

The only problem with said burning plan: my CD burner hasn?t worked for months, (although angelface claims that it does.) Apparently the windows player can burn data cds, but I really don’t see that working either. I just don’t.

I am the computer?s bitch.

Let’s face it. They say computers will one day rule the world. Well, at Hannihouse the future is now, and I?m a slave to technology that refuses to do my bidding.

This is computer bitch 23456 signing off. *beep*

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March 12, 2003

I Believe in Magic

I’m back from fabulous Spring Break 2003, and I have to say it was better than I could even imagine.

At Disney World I:

Rode the monorail, tram, bus, ferrie, boat and train. I screamed my way down splash mountain and laughed my way through the muppet 3d theater. I growled like a lion at the lion king show, and sang along with Belle during Beauty and Beast. I ate icecream shaped like mickey ears and bratwurst from a bavarian village in Epcot. Fat Tuesday I celebrated New Years Eve at Pleasure Island where dancing on rotating dancefloors in front of huge video screens was the order of the night. I came, I saw, I believe – in the magic of Disney, that is.

I am back, sparkly-eyed, tan, healthy, alive. I returned to my little home in blacksburg, virginia where I was greeted by Boris and Paulo, who bubbled happily for me. I then took a big, deep, happy breath.

To my dismay, something else was waiting to greet me – the housekeeper had left my bathmat on the floor when she cleaned the shower. It wasn’t just wet, it was sopping, which lead me to believe the housekeeper had cleaned the tile floor without even *trying* to move the fluffy mat off the floor. The odoriferous smell of mold and feet – on – mat permeated my little 12 X 14 space.

Yes, there’s no place like home.

And I think the housekeeper may have done it on purpose. I had a very good working relationship with Mary, the lady who used to clean my commode. This new housekeeper is afraid of me or something, as she is prone to gasp and leave the room if she sees I am in bed when she comes in to clean. Hello, if it’s freakin’ 9:00 a.m. I will probably be in bed. I am, after all, in my final semester of collegiate freedom!

This housekeeper has also left the shower head off before, putting me into a panic as I do not wear deodorant, and am therefore required to thoroughly bathe every day. Well, if the shower head is off, you *can* try to get a good soak, but the intensity of the liquid splashing from the hole in the wall (where the head should be), is enough to send even The Rock in all his muscular splendor washing down the drain.

The rushing waters of Payne 323 may even be strong enough to send the mighty jafar packing!

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March 2, 2003

Just For Fun

Am cleaning out my harddrive as have 300mbs of space left, which is apparently very little. I came across this gem…. enjoy

ooh ooh, listen to Good Charlotte’s “Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous” and watch the bug. He is humping to the harmony. How delightful.