The world is changing, of that we can be sure. Case in point: Today, I spoke in public speaking without saying “Uhm” once - this is nothing short of miraculous, I , uhm, assure you. Also, I actually enjoyed being at my internship this afternoon - not for any particular reason, per se, but I did revel in the fact that my desk chair was sufficiently comfortable, so that if i had hemmoroids I’m sure the ass would be okay.

And most monumentally, today, I learned that it’s Girl Scout Cookie season, and the cookie’s names are a-changing again. What do I mean by this? Well, you all remember the days when carmel delights were samoas don’t you? And what about tag-alongs? What is that? - seriously, i can’t remember if they are the cookies with the chocolate covering and peanut butter in the middle (read: peanut butter patties), or if they are the old skool plain wafers with peanut butter in the middle… I think they are called “do-si-dos” or some crap.

Regardless, we all know that girl scout cookies used to have real names like the aforementioend “Peanut butter patty”, or the classic,”Shortbread,” etc. And how do I remember this? Well, I was a girlscout in the 80’s, and I sold hundreds of boxes of peanut butter patties, thin mints, and the elusive peanut- butter- wafer -cookies- that- I can’t- remember -the- names- of.

In the mid nineties they changed the name of my favorite cookies, the Carmel Delights, to “Samoas”, which disturbed me to no end. Consequently, I have seldom eaten a g.s. cookie since.

Plus, I am super cheap, and for the price of those cookies, they better be made of gold.

And I was always bothered by the Samoa name - like aren’t Samoans a group of people? I am at once disturbed and abhorred the girl scout’s equating this proud group of people with chocolate wafers and coconut.

It doesn’t help that samoans are in fact brown, like the wafers, and that they are indeed known for having large, fleshy bodies, which, if you think about it, can come from eating fatty foods like chocolate and coconut.

What’s next? Whiteys? Hey kids, try the all new Whiteys! With their fine cracker crust they’re destined to become a girl scout classic!

But the world is different today. Today, I am proud to report, the girl scouts of america are no longer selling Samaos. They are selling, again, the Carmel Delights.

Thank you political correctness for giving us back the Carmel D.

Posted in Food, Uncategorized, VT