Posts published during January, 2003

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January 31, 2003

When Good Doors Go Bad

I think I’ve been listening to fire and rain too many times this week. This is the second morning I’ve woken up feeling kind of sad, and I prefer to blame it on James Taylor. It doesn’t help that I only have six songs on my winamp playlist, so fire and rain plays constantly. It’s such a good song though.

I don’t know, I’m just glad I’m not sore today. I had a good little jarring yesterday.

On the way to the post office, I pass a seminar room. Yesterday I saw there were people in the room, and like a fly to a cow pattie, I was irreprably drawn to the spectacle. WIth my head craned right, I failed to notice the swinging door *directly in front of me*. So with a huge thud, my body hit first, on my head, and then all down my shoulder.

And all the chemicals in my body shook. I was a walking martini shaker.

The seminar kids got a big kick out of that – it was probably the most excitement they’d had during their session. Amazingly, I was alright. My arm hurt a little, but my head didn’t really hurt at all. Now that scared me quite a bit. I mean, that door ran into me pretty hard, and look where it hit:

Either I have two-by-fours for brains, or I don’t know what. I guess you could say I’m hard headed

life ranking on the stupid self -inflicted- injuries o’ meter: 75%

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January 29, 2003

Planet of the Incompetents

Ooh those koreans, they must certainly be e-vil. According to our hallowed President, they are so e-vil they don’t get to live on penninsulas, but on penninshulas (sic.)

Yes, and apparently, our nation should be worried about nuke-u-lar war and ‘fishal policies.

But what I’m worried about, is the fact that, while he is trying to lead us all to war, George W. – that monkey – can’t even pronounce his words correctly. I wonder if it’s because he’s from Texas, so I try to justify the mispronunciation as an accent. But my cousin’s from Texas, and her “peninsula” sounds like “peninsula.”

And then it makes sense.

Right after I watched the horrifying state of the union address – (Guess we don’t have to worry about those “3,000 terrorists arrested world wide”, as they are “let’s put it this way, not a problem any more” – hmmm, I think this means they were killed – don’t worry about the fact that we supposedly believe in freedom, justice, and the right to a fair trial. No wonder the freakin world hates the US) – I watched the Osbournes.

It was a hilarious, yet heartwrenching episode, as we see Sharon get weaker with her chemotherapy. Ozzy spends the episode mumbling about the dogs and how they crap everywhere. I think that Ozzy should make one of those anti-drug commercials, because who better to illustrate the evils of crack and crank than someone who can’t even form coherent sentences.

And that’s the connection.

Everyone knows W. was into the blow, and I think, while watching his address it is evident that it has impaired his brain. Georgie, like Ozzy has problems with words, because his brain looks like swiss cheese.

But we love Ozzy.

We think George W. is a monkey.

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January 26, 2003

Sooper Bole

I’m going to a superbowl party today. Yay for chilli, chips, belching and whooping for our team. There’s on small problem though: I’m not exactly sure who “our team” is supposed to be, as I don’t know who is playing this glorious sunday.

The other day, over dinner at mcdonalds, I confidently told G I knew who was competing sunday. I loudly announced that the Dallas Cowboys and NY Jets would be handling the pigskin. Apparently I was wrong on both accounts.

Of course, I was basing my decision entirely on something I saw on MTV. The VJs were out talking with cheerleaders from the oposing teams. Because one gaggle of cheerleaders wore western-looking tassles, I decided she was from Dallas. And the Jets – well I just felt like the Jets would be a good team to opose Dallas – that was not based on any cheerleading attire.

I wonder if i’m supposed to dress a particular way for the superbowl party. Is it like when Tech plays and you have to wear maroon and orange? What if i show up at the party wearing “the bad teams” colors? Seeing as how I don’t even know who “the bad team” is, I think this mistake could quite possibly occur.

Then what? Will they cackle and laugh, then throw me out into the freezing cold? And I’ll have to walk those four miles back home in blizzard conditions just like I did every morning on the walk to school – except it’s only one mile away – and there is no blizzard, it’s sunny and 35 degrees out – and I’ve never walked to school a day in my life (well except during college, but since I live on campus it kind of cancels out).

urgh

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January 23, 2003

The Fax of Life

oh god. am idiot.

Why, why did i have a personal fax sent to the corporate office of my new internship?

Why, why didn’t i double check that the fax number I gave to the anchorage daily news lady? Why didn’t i make absolutely sure it would go to my campus fax?

Why, why did the internship boss lady email me this morning from Maryland saying “I got a fax for you from the Anchorage Daily News – I guess it should come down to the Blacksburg office…”

Why, why did i act all casual back like, “oh, that’s strange about the fax …:)”

And why did I get a reprimand when I haven’t even had my first official day of work yet when boss lady replied, “pls do not use fax for personal use.”

Yes, haven’t even really started working internship yet, and am already on the S-list. I’m the champ.

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January 19, 2003

Auld Lang Syne

Well it’s a new year once again at Hännihouse. There’s much to celebrate: it’s 3 P.M.,Sunday and I’m still in my pjs, I have european undergarments coming by post, there’s a lovely blanket of snow on the ground and… *drumroll* I am engaged!

Introducing: the future mrs. angelface

Now you may be thinking “man, that’s the best news I’ve heard since MTV announced a second season of the Osbournes.” And then you may be saying, “But Hänni, is this engagement the reason you haven’t been posting here at the house? We love you. We’ve missed your rants. And we don’t ever want you to take a month-long hiatus from posting – never, ever again!”

In answer: yes, the engagement played a large part. You see, when it happened i wanted to shout it from the hills: I am great, I am wonderful, and darn it, angelface really likes me! I wanted to buy bridal magazines and flaunt them like my name was J-Lo. (only five more husbands and she’ll be caught up with Elizabeth Taylor!)

Despite my hysterical merrymaking, I knew that I had to take my time – I wanted to have a really stellar presentation for my hannihouse fans. That being said, I decided to make the greatest engagement webpage ever.

And so I toiled, and eventually succeeded in my page making, while, however, simultaneously confirming that I am indeed a huge nerd for doing such.

Without further ado, and with much heralding and fanfare I present our engagement Please visit and sign the guestbook!