Posts published during May, 2002

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May 31, 2002

The Road Less Traveled

Well I’m back. I’m alive. I’m listening to the new Weezer cd. S.C. was pretty great. It only took four hours to get down there – to get to the Kmart that Nolie’s grandma told me to call from. I was v. pleased that I made it to S.C. with very little trouble, and called Nolie’s Pops. Her Pops is kind of a jackass – but he did feed me and house me for the weekend, so it is all good.

So Pops was like “oh your’e at Kmart? Didn’t you go on mapquest and get directions to our house? No? Okay here’s the directions…” and from there I went into blah blah mode. There were too many lefts and rights and bypasses for my taste. Well, he finishes telling me and he’s like “can you make it”. I said no, and could he come get me and I’d follow? Well he didn’t want to, but eventually he decided to head to the ‘Mart.

I followed him back to his four story plantation-style home, only to be greeted by the smell of a turkey farm. Yes, 22,000 turkeys reside in Nolie’s pop’s backyard! I met the dad’s boys – one shy little violet named Chris, and the biggest chatterbox ever, Tyler. Tyler showed me a paper bag puppet that looked like a cat with no ears. He made it talk, and then was sure to inform me that the paperbag cat wasn’t a real feline, and that in fact, he, tyler, was making it talk with his own voice.

I got that. But I let chatty cathy give me the full explanation. Kid loves to hear his own voice. It’s cute.

Nolie and I had a good time watching Kevin Smith movies, sitting by the pool, shopping, and gossiping. I didn’t want to leave her there. She has a real shaky relationship with Pops, and was missing Aaron – her B.F. of three years, who will one day be her husband! And on her wedding day, I will be the maid of honor! And I will wear lemon chiffon and blue eyeliner – i’ll look just horrible, but that’s how bridesmaids are supposed to look. The only hitch to this deal: Nolie’s not exactly engaged, and we have never actually discussed my status as the M.O.H. These are minor details.

Anyway, I left for VA on Memorial day. It took me 7 hours – I kept getting lost. But it was oh -so -sweet when I pulled onto Strawfield Circle where Angelface was having a cookout with the fam. He pulled me to him, a big stupid, I-missed-you grin on his face and said “you’re home now.” I think he’s releived that I actually made it back to VA, and wasn’t lost somewhere in Florida.

The american highways and byways are my kingdom (thanks ZP), and we all know I am a princess.

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May 23, 2002

I Guess this is Growing Up

I must quote from the movie Cabin Boy in order to properly preface this entry:

“Yesterday you were a Cabin Boy, but now you are a Cabin Man”

Today I grow up. While just yesterday I was without wheels, and consequently, dependant on various friends/family to chauffer me around, today I will drive for four hours to South Carolina. I’m renting a car, and am extremely nervous. I have never driven outside of the Wasilla/Anchorage area. In fact, most people here at Tech don’t beleive that I know how to operate a car, much less undertake a grand roadtrip by myself.

Well I got news for you kids: I am a liberated woman! You don’t beleive me, look how cute and confident I am – (make yourself and I’ll post it here!)

Alright, time to pack myself some PBJ and such. When next I write, I will be a vetran of the Virginia, SC roads. It’s quite momentus.

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May 20, 2002

Sand Trap

So, it’s the day before summer vacation. You’ve finished all your finals, and packed all your posters. You have just one more day to spend with those crazy kids from your hall, before it’s adios for three summery months. You want to make the most of this day. So the chorus of Blink’s “first date” rolls around in your head – forever, and ever. let’s make this last forever…. And what do you do with those last precious moments?

Answer: go metal detecting in the volleyball courts, in hopes of finding treasure.

ZP, Captain Strange and I did just that last week. We scoured four volleyball courts and found a grand total of $1.21 + 1 bent ring, and a few forks. Not a bad find, really.

file this under: argh.. me precious booty, or the kids return to the sandbox.

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May 19, 2002

A New Look

Hooray for fresh starts! As I’m sure you noticed I have once again revamped the ‘Sparkler. Kudos to my design expert, fancy pants, Smug Elle, and her vision of purple decadence. (be sure to check out her new revamp as well – it’s very red, and it has pants) Also much love goes out to Smug Ellie’s kitty, Cleo, who officially endorses IHOH on this page in the left magenta column. Cleetiepie deserves some recognition. She says to send fancy feast.

The school year has finally come to an end, and I have been enjoying cable television and food that doesn’t originate in a cafeteria setting. I start my summer job tomorrow, and have been moving into my new apartment. It is, for lack of a better wording, musty and decrepit – a regular den of dankness.

While moving in I noticed the following atrocities:
a.there is a green, chunky pile of something stuck to the floor in the bedroom. I imagine it’s some sort of split pea soup, but Drewby pointed out it looked more like vomit. Is possible that said green pile is actually pea soup that has been vomited onto the rug.
b.the smoke detector was lying on the floor, completely useless.
c.the stopper on the bathtub – a huge piece of metal from the sixties – is only superficially attached to the tub, and falls off at whim. Another useless item.
d.even if the tub had proper drainage (which it doesn’t), it would be indecent to shower, as there is no curtain.
e.the ceiling fan/light in the main room does not function. As there is no AC in this apartment, this is quite disturbing. Also, as the only other means of lighting the living room involves table lamps with shades that look like they’ve been on fire, am hesitant to enter living room, period.
f.desk chair looks fine and unsoiled, but when sitting it pops off it’s little rails, making it another useless peicer.
g.the place smells like old mothballs. Am afraid to light candles, as the smoke detector is lying on the floor.

Besides these atrocities, it is quite lovely. Most importantly, however, said musty/rank/dank apartment is 100% free. And as I always say “if it’s for free, it’s for me.” Oh the burdens of being cheap and content. I am a freestuff whore.

Well, must tidy up at chez Hänni. Til next we meet, ta!

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May 7, 2002

I’m on the “S” List

Yeah. My parents recently visited the ‘Sparkler – and let’s just say they were not happy about the way they were portrayed in my little rants. Dad seemed to have mixed emotions. He was both horrified at his depiction as a Creative Genius freakydeaky, but also interested in my creative process.

Mom simply sent me an email that read:
“Saw your site. It sucks. Love you precious girl, Mom”

I just pray that Gpa didn’t visit and see that I linked Gma’s hospitalization to a bad bout of gas – the green wind, if you will. He def. wouldn’t talk to me for years if he read that junk.

Apparently sis didn’t like my reference of her beloved Matt as “the loser-boyfriend”, so I doubt she will be visiting me this summer as I’d hoped.

Damn, damn, damn – all apologizes mi familia.

And how did they get the url for my blog? Why, I emailed it to them! Yeah get this junk. So I made this website for class (international house of hänni), and brainlessly emailed it out to my address book. Well, the fam is on the book. Of course they linked to this blog.

Of course – I am an idiot.

So for now, I am hiding out – bbye