This morning I am a Grogosaurus.

It is 9 am and despite my many hours of sleep, I am groggy. I thought a shower would wake me up. So I walked toward my usual shower nook – the right back. However, before entering said shower, I was sure to stop at the shower nextdoor to make adjustments.

You see, my shower is permanently set to thermonuclear.

What do I mean by this? Well, the water in the showers gets so hot that you are forced to dance around going “ooh, ouch, oh!” for fear of having your skin burned off. People emerge from these showers looking like broiled tomatoes and the main ingredient at lobsterfest. In short, it aint pretty.

The only way to combat the thermonucleosity is to turn the nextdoor shower on freezing cold. For some reason, if the neighboring shower is set to cold, my shower has a bit of cold water too. Why does this happen? It’s just another college mystery. I don’t ask questions, I just know it works.

So I walked into the showers wearing my little Grogosaurus pink bathing cap, (and you thought bathing caps were only for old women), and sleepily turned the neighboring shower to “glacial ice storm”, not paying attention to the fact that the showerhead was pointed directly at my toweled body. Suddenly, by virtue of early morning baptism with v cold water, Grogosaurus Rex became Frostasauraus Rex. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Finally, despite the shenanigans, I did get a shower in. And it was good. But am still v. groggy. And am still wearing nerdy looking shower cap. I think I have to come to terms that I may never fully wake up.

File this under: Friday Morning Madness