When I woke up this morning, I didn’t realize what a glorious day it would turn out to be. I didn’t realize that the heavens would shake, the moons of jupiter would collide, or that the doves of Rome would sing a new beatiful song. Yes, someone’s life changed today. And that someone is my good friend, Son Of Richard Marx. At approximately 12 pm today, SORM lost his virginity – his cottage cheese virginity.

like a virgin
touched for the very first time
like a viiiirgin
Madonna – like a virgin

I remember about a year ago, conversing with someone who had never tasted the fairer cheese, of which I am partial. To me, a person who had never had the ‘cheese was inconceivable. What a horrible plebian existence! where do these people come from? Caves? Space? Canada?

So today SORM IM’s me, saying, “this cottage cheese junx isn’t so bad.” Then i remembered it -! SORM was the uncultured cottage cheese virgin! You can imagine the excitement as I learned that SORM had come into full blown cottage cheesehood. Yesterday he was but a boy, and today he is a man.

I’ll spare you SORM’s thoroughly disgusting analogy about the loss of his ‘cheese virginity (let’s just say it involves a “cottage cheese cherry”), but I will tell you that SORM is definetly a fan.

Cottage cheeses of the world, look out! There’s a wild SORM on the loose, and he won’t rest till he’s had a peice from every curd on the continent.

This one is dedicated to: SORM and his throbbing member.